Sleep is for Losers {Guest Post}

Sleep is for Losers
written by: Leighton Olivia Newton John.

Have your parents ever tried to put you to bed and you laid there wide awake and bored? And if you listen closely you can hear them making snacks and most likely having a party. Do you hear that? That's laughter! Why would there be laughter at this hour?! Mommy, told me it was bedtime. Then why on earth is she and daddy still up? It's interesting. As I lay here pondering how they could possible have any fun without my jubilant presence, I have devised a plan to infiltrate their party and take notes. I realize the risks and consequences I face compiling this research for my fellow bedtime little people, but if I can crack the bedtime code we all win.

Below is a list of excuses I have compiled that have allowed me "permission," or so I deemed, to vacate my bed and spy on the parents.

{Daddy I need water}
The subject brings me a glass of water. Decided to implement tactic two after he leaves.
{Daddy you didn't bring me kitchen water.}
He brings me back kitchen water.
{Daddy I need 2 ice cubes in it.}

While these tactics were effective for me to monitor the subject, it quickly turned against me. Don't worry it won't get me down tomorrow is another night...
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Here are a list of questions to ask to prolong the bedtime process. I run through these nightly.

1. What are we doing tomorrow?
2. What are you looking at?
3. What are you doing tomorrow?
4. Can we go to the pool tomorrow?
Will the water be cold? Will my friends be there? Why won't my friends be there? What are they doing tomorrow?
Can we go to the library? Why? I need new books. Can I get a DVD at the library? How about a bookmark? Am I going to get a new {free reading program book} book?
Can I wear...
5. I need some chapstick.
I need some itch medicine for my {non-existent} bug bite.
You didn't turn my music on. My music is too quiet....my music is too loud. Can I sleep with my music by my pillow? Why? {START CRYING}
6.Can you leave the hall light on? Leave my door open.
7. You forgot to turn on my night light.
8. Where is Toby {our dog}, I need him to sleep with me. {Push Toby off the bed to make it look like he escaped, go downstairs} Toby escaped. I need Tobias.
9. Daddy I heard something? I think it is an alligator in my room.
10. You didn't turn on my ceiling fan.
11. I need more water.
12. Daddy what are you having for a snack tonight?
13. How do zoo animals get water daddy?
14. But I need a hug and a kiss from mommy.
Now I need a hug and a kiss from daddy.
And last but certainly not least exclaim "BUT I CAN'T SLEEP!"

Along the way be sure to break down into uncontrollable sobs and fits of rage to make it clear that life is completely unfair and you are being treated poorly. This easily kills 20 minutes of the bed time process.

While I have gotten in trouble countless times for my research; I have found it all to be worth it. My parents are utterly confused as to what my true reasons and motivations are. Those reasons will not be disclosed at this time as my research shall continue. I will continue to update my fellow bedtime haters with new ploys and tactics as I implement more in the future. I will not be deterred, much to my parent's dismay.

And that my friends is how it is done!

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I wish, as her mother, I could say that she is embellishing these tactics, that it really isn't that bad. It is. Matter of fact this is FAR from the comprehensive list daddy goes through on a nightly basis. Lucky for her mommy is gone most evenings and is unable to put her to bed. Mommy is far less kind than daddy. So yes, this happens every.single.night in our home.

Until next time.

Iowa in 50 pics or less--most definitely less...

A week or two ago we set out to make our way to Iowa to visit my sister and meet my newest nephew.
I was unsure about the trip--1. because I hate longer than 30 minute car rides, not even joking and 2. have you met my kids? They too hate longer than 7 minute car rides as the whining and the "are we there yets?" commence seconds, SECONDS after pulling out of the driveway, not joking.

But my mom assured me it would be fine.

Here we are heading out.
I started out in the WAY back, it was actually quite roomy and comfy--but 30 minutes in I got car sick. How was I to know...the last time I rode in the back I was 12 and the other times I was knocked up, so it was hard to differentiate between-- do I still get car sick? or is this morning sickness? I thought I would be fine. I wasn't. My mom kindly crawled in the back and let me have the front for the rest of the trip. Lesson learned take Dramamine that you know what whining gets you? The front seat. :)

So our next stop was lunch--Chick-Fil-A. 
The kids scarfed 2 nuggets so they could run off and play.

After enduring a few kiddie shows we determined it was nap time. Lo took forever to fall asleep. And both kids napped all of 40 minutes at best...oh well at least it was quiet. They actually were shockingly good the WHOLE trip. Minus MW asking 2 seconds after we pulled out of the driveway if we were close yet; they did awesome. No whining, no screaming, no fighting and no crying! It was a pleasant trip.

I think she finally fell asleep like this. Goof ball.

Meg and I then spent nap time perfecting our "duck face" pose. I mean really I just don't get this look. Is it cute, sexy, weird?! I think everyone just looks dumb doing it. So STOP! Be normal. But it was a good laugh and killed an hour.

FINALLY IOWA!!!! We are almost there. The last 30 minutes of the trip felt like days. Things got rough as somehow we missed an exit and my circa 2002 GPS didn't alert us until we were 15 miles out of the way. Thanks GPS you rock. Tension rose and everyone was done and ready to be out of the car.

We are here. Here is the succession of pics from the 2 day stay.
Meeting Baby Gannon. My kids were in love. Sorry Charlies but no more babies for us, enjoy this one.
They both were so kind and loving to him. It was sweet. Landrey showed us just what to do. HA!

On a side note--when we got there Landrey introduced us to her daddy and said "this is my daddy! He calls me princess!" That was the funniest thing I think I heard the whole time. It was so cute.

Grammy with 2/4 boys!

Part of the reason for our trip was this sweet girl had to go have a minor surgery and my sister need helped with the other 2 kids so she could focus. She helped me when my MW had all his surgeries so it was the least we could do.

After nap games, snacks and snuggles.

I love rockin' babies, provided I can give them back when they cry. :) Gannon is a sweet, easy-going baby.

Micah, was always right in there loving on baby G.  He even sang him songs.

These two had fun catching up and playing girl stuff.

Oh and how could I forget the "coyote." When we first got there I sent MW out in the back to play on the deck. I had totally spaced they had a German Shepherd back there. Payton is the sweetest dog, and when she figured out someone had come out back, she had to investigate. She scared MW so badly, I thought he was going to be scarred of big dogs for life. He kept saying "go away Coyote!" So funny. By the end he warmed up to Payton and they were at least on civil terms.

Nap time stories.

Baby blues. This picture does them zero justice.

One evening we headed to the carousel. Leighton had seen pictures of this place on Aunt 'Lisa's blog and wanted to go when we got there. I was hoping we wouldn't have a repeat experience like 3 years ago.

First she had to warm up and ride on the bench...

MW was TERRIFIED!!!

Then Landrey talked her into riding "Black Beauty" as long as I stood by her side.

Yep I added this sis-tahs. You are welcome. See the duck face WHY?! HA!

Evening show before bed. Complete with sassy sue. The kids slept pretty good. MW slept in a pack n play and they shared a room. I was so surprised how well they went to be together. Then I would sneak in and sleep with Lo. MW is an early riser therefore so were Lo and I. That was the worse part. On the last night he woke up at 545a and cried and cried. I brought him to bed with me and he FINALLY fell asleep. He hates sleeping with people. I ask him if he wants me to lay with him and he always says NO. I just find that funny. Don't most kids want there parents to sleep by them?! At least Lo does.

On day 2 more snuggles.

Park Fun!!!

Followed up by cupcakes at this cute cupcake place that I can not remember the name, but they are so awesome that they were featured on Cupcake Wars on TLC?!?! (not sure that is the right channel, we don't have cable) in June. No pics because I forgot my camera. But Lo and Meg LOVE some red velvet cupcakes and MW he is the boy after my own heart---I want CHOC-IT mommy! That a boy. :)

Melissa testing MW in her carrier. So funny. He was not a fan.

Ended our last night shooting off sparklers and snappers. Lo really got the hang of the sparklers at this point. 

 Much better baby blues. I call this blue steel.

Time to say good-bye. That is always the hardest part. But we had fun. 

The kids traveled really well on the way home. Minimal stops and they even napped slightly better although they did miss this cool bridge in KC.

 MW's turn at the cocoon sleeping.

Thanks for taking us all up mom and thanks for driving us the whole way Meg. You rock. It's a little known fact my mother and I HATE, LOATHE, DESPISE driving...anywhere. So when we first talked about the trip and how Meg initially couldn't go I was a little worried who would be driving?! Praise God, He knew He needed to provide for us, so he sent Meg. She only got us lost once. :)

Until next time!