35.5 weeks {aka Watch Mommy Grow}

How far along: 35w 4d-I am doing these a bit more often now, since it is so close the end there is "more" to report. :)

35 weeks with Baby Q

isn't my girl a doll face?!

35 weeks w/ Lo.

Total Wt Gain/Loss: +20# :/ I really should just stop looking at the scale, I find it terribly depressing...I know it's "good" and all, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Maternity Clothes: Definitely wearing, especially pants! I love dresses and tunics, but mostly just live in sweats.

Best Moment thus far: Finding out he is head down! I was really started to worry he was breech and I want to avoid a c-section at all costs. I kept feeling jabs and kicks at my bladder and not at my ribs, which is what got me panicking that he wasn't head down!

Gender: BOY!

Movement: Still a "sleepy" baby and hardly moves at all.

Milestones: Baby’s senses are continuing to improve -- when light peeks in through your (extremely) stretched belly, those tiny eyelids and irises blink and dilate. And, baby can now recognize and react to simple songs… time to start practicing your lullabies! Growth (at least inside your womb) is starting to slow, and you may notice baby descend into your pelvis at the end of this month. ~(courtesy of thebump.com)

Food Cravings: none really anymore.

What I miss: Being skinny. I see cute clothes that I want to wear, but can't. :(

Sleep: What is sleep? Because I am not getting it. I hurt, I am HOT, I can't find a comfortable position and then when I do I have to get up and tinkle. Plus, my mind is just racing with all the unknowns, like when will he get here, who will take care of Lo, do we have everything, I still need to do... so frustrating, I just wish I could shut down my mind.

What I am looking forward to: The end. 4ish weeks and counting!!! {God willing} I am no longer trying to enjoy this pregnancy I am so over it. Only because I am tired of this limbo labor I am in. Who the heck wants to be contracting for weeks on end and be mean to their family because of it. Just get out already, so I can resume life.

Belly Button: Totally popped out. So embarrassing.

What I learned at my pre-natal visit:
35 week appt-His heart beat is 139bpm. My OB checked me I am 3cm dilated and nearly 90% effaced. Baby is head down {HUGE answer to prayer, because let's face not too much else has gone "right" this time around}, he is completely engaged and ready to come out! And other things that you veteran mommies know happens when you are at this point and that dilated. FUN! :/
Also, my OB said at this point they will do nothing to stop my labor, but she will do nothing to help it if I go in to the hospital unless I am at a 6 or 7 then they will break my waters etc. So that is good news, I definitely don't want labor stopped at this point.

GD Appt: My blood sugars have been awesome, so she doesn't need to see me for two weeks! Yay me!

Symptoms: Have I mentioned contractions and back labor?
Yeah, they have been intense and causing me to actually consider going to the hospital. Monday, I nearly had my husband come home, in the snow storm to take me, but decided to wait a bit longer. Finally, I went to bed thinking I would try and sleep as much as I could, because I was sure we would have a late night run, 3 hours later it all stopped.
Now it is Wednesday and they are back at it. I am so sick of it. This has been going on for 10+ weeks and I am done. My patience and tolerance {for practically everything} is gone. And now that I know things are progressing it has become more frustrating. I hate being a slow starter. I just hang at the precipices teetering until BAM! I am full on in labor, barely getting my epi in time before pushing! I don't even get to "enjoy" L&D because I move so fast.

I know he will be here before I know it and this will all be a distant memory, but for now this is just how I feel.

34/35 Weeks {aka Watch Mommy Grow}

How far along: 34w 4d

34 weeks with Baby Q

I am lookin' pretty exhausted these days...and no there isn't a beach ball under there. HA!

Total Wt Gain/Loss: +18# :/ I really should just stop looking at the scale, I find it terribly depressing...I know it's "good" and all, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Maternity Clothes: Definitely wearing, especially pants! I love dresses and tunics, but mostly just live in sweats.

Best Moment thus far: I am really getting anxious to meet him. I am starting to wonder what he will look like, hair? no hair? who will he favor? what will his personality be like? will he be a sleeper? or colicky like Lo?

Gender: BOY!

Movement: His movements aren't as great as Lo's were. I just feel him some, enough to know that he is in fact still alive. Not sure if this is a good thing or not?! Maybe this means he will be easy going and a sleeper?!

Milestones: Baby’s senses are continuing to improve -- when light peeks in through your (extremely) stretched belly, those tiny eyelids and irises blink and dilate. And, baby can now recognize and react to simple songs… time to start practicing your lullabies! Growth (at least inside your womb) is starting to slow, and you may notice baby descend into your pelvis at the end of this month. ~(courtesy of thebump.com)

Food Cravings: none really anymore.

What I miss: My brain. It is official gone. Mommy brain + pregnancy brain is not a good combo! :)

Sleep: What is sleep? Because I am not getting it. I hurt, I am HOT, I can't find a comfortable position and then when I do I have to get up and tinkle. Plus, my mind is just racing with all the unknowns, like when will he get here, who will take care of Lo, do we have everything, I still need to do... so frustrating, I just wish I could shut down my mind.

What I am looking forward to: The end. 4ish weeks and counting!!! {God willing} But while that is said, I am really just trying to enjoy being pregnant as best as I can. This is the last time for that and being a family of 3. I don't like change so there are a lot emotions going on for me right now, but I don't want to rush it.

Belly Button: Totally popped out. So embarrassing.

What I learned at my pre-natal visit:
33 week appt-fairly uneventful. Just measured my belly (33 weeks) and listened to the heart beat 150bpm. She then scheduled my GD {gestational diabetes} appt finally, since they dropped the ball on that one!

GD Appt: I have been experiencing a lot of high blood sugar symptoms lately (or so I assume, but couldn't be certain b/c I didn't have a meter yet.) so I was anxious to get to this appointment and get this under control. Leaving this un-controlled is not healthy for either of us!

Anyways, I got my meter and then the doc said I needed to see the dietitian. HA! I laughed and said I AM a dietitian, so I could just skip that step, all I need you to tell me is what carb level you want me at and I can handle the rest. The doc laughed too and said she would bring in the RD then for a quick visit instead of the routine sit down and educate this poor patient bit. They are all so nice. The RD even gave me her email out of professional courtesy in case I do have any questions.

I guess I go back and see the GD doc every week until D-day. I am just glad my OB and GD doc are in the same building and the appointments can be done at the same time. My GD doc said use your pregnancy with my staff and they will get you in every.single.time. We take our pregnant mommas very seriously here, you are our top priority! I thought that was great.

So far I only had one really high blood sugar of 416 YIKES! {that is super duper high for those of you who don't know} I need to stay under 120 after meals. That one made me a bit nervous. If my sugars don't stay down I will be put on insulin shots.

Symptoms: Uh, contractions STILL. I am so ready to get this show on the road. I realize it is a tad early, but it doesn't ease the frustration of dealing with the contractions and NOTHING happening.
Heart burn is starting. With Lo I had it all the time and it felt like I had swallowed sulfuric acid, so far not to bad, so does this mean he won't have much hair? ;) At least he is a boy, so the hair thing won't bother me as much as it did with Lo. HA!
So.very.HOT! You would think it was July they way I walk around here dressed. At night I just nearly sweat to death. So glad I am not pregnant in July or I would never make it. {I feel sorry for you Misa, Jendy and April!! ;)}

Interesting things that happened/anecdotes:
I keep running into several older women {at my assisted living communities I consult for} and they all tell me how "little" I am and how I must be having a girl! Wouldn't that be crazy. ;)
{I am still not completely over not having another girl, but I am excited about having a boy now--if that makes any sense.}

Lo is "telling" people Baby Q's name, only problem is no one understands her. Which Chad and I think is such a hoot!!

Whatever You're Doing

This song from Sanctus Real pretty much sums up my feelings right now, mostly in regards to this pregnancy. God is clearly trying to do something amidst this chaos, also known as this pregnancy, and all I can do is surrender to it.



This pregnancy has had so many things come up that have been less than positive, I really have been trying to be brave, but it just at times can seem overwhelming when the emotions all finally come crashing in around me. Today is one of those days, the flood gates broke and the emotions are out. I wasn't feeling to particularly keen on God about all of this today...I just don't "get it." Why I keep getting the short end of the stick, but then I heard this song and it spoke to me.

I am posting the lyrics for those of you who don't have time to "listen" to the song.

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

32 Weeks {aka Watch Mommy Grow}

How far along: 32w 1d

Baby Q 32w

Lo 31w

Total Wt Gain/Loss: +14# :/ I really should just stop looking at the scale, I find it terribly depressing...I know it's "good" and all, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Maternity Clothes: Definitely wearing, especially pants! I love dresses and tunics, but mostly just live in sweats.

Best Moment thus far: I am really getting anxious to meet him. I am starting to wonder what he will look like, hair? no hair? who will he favor? what will his personality be like? will he be a sleeper? or colicky like Lo?

Gender: BOY!

Movement: His movements aren't as great as Lo's were. I just feel him some, enough to know that he is in fact still alive. Not sure if this is a good thing or not?! Maybe this means he will be easy going and a sleeper?!

Milestones: Baby’s senses are continuing to improve -- when light peeks in through your (extremely) stretched belly, those tiny eyelids and irises blink and dilate. And, baby can now recognize and react to simple songs… time to start practicing your lullabies! Growth (at least inside your womb) is starting to slow, and you may notice baby descend into your pelvis at the end of this month. ~(courtesy of thebump.com)

Already feel him descending. He is so low in there I swear I might as well just stay in the bathroom, since he is under the impression my bladder is a squeeze toy. I honestly think I prefer rib kicks (which I don't get b/c he is so low.)

Food Cravings: Pizza, Chocolate, Soups (especially taco or tortilla), Apples and Raw Broccoli with Ranch dip. Mmmm good. Sugar cookies. (although that may be coming to an end.)

What I miss: My brain. It is official gone. Mommy brain + pregnancy brain is not a good combo! :)

Sleep: Not good. For whatever reason I am just struggling to sleep, even though I am so.very.tired. I start to fall asleep and right as I am about to drift of BAM! I wake myself up. So annoying.
On a positive note I can still {mostly} sleep on my tummy, I don't remember being able to do that at this point with Lo.

What I am looking forward to: The end. 6ish weeks and counting!!! {God willing} But while that is said, I am really just trying to enjoy being pregnant as best as I can. This is the last time for that and being a family of 3. I don't like change so there are a lot emotions going on for me right now, but I don't want to rush it.

Belly Button: Totally popped out. So embarrassing.

What I learned at my pre-natal visit: At my 29 week appt. we discussed my ever present, ever strengthening contractions. There are days and nights they get so strong and consistent that, if this was my first pregnancy I would be up in OB triage for sure, BUT because I know how bad active labor and contractions will get I stay at home and try to rest. All this to say I am now being checked now at exams. At 29 weeks, my I was thinning and softening, but no dilation.

At my 32 week appt I was sent to my OB for the duration of this pregnancy. (I had been seeing my PCP, because, well, why not). Anyway, they don't like my contractions, duh, so it is best to let her (my OB) handle it from here on out.
I was checked again, thankfully, still no dilation, but in a way it twerks me off because the strength and consistency of these contractions that I endure are doing nothing! But obviously, it is a good thing I have a stubborn cervix, just wish I didn't have to go through all this pain and have nothing happen. However, on the flip side once my body decides to get with the program, it gets with the program and I will go fast, so alas, I am happy nothing has happened yet...and my OB wants it to stay that way until at least 34 weeks after that she said they won't do much to stop it.
I am not allowed to travel for Christmas...good thing I have no where to go. HA! And I have to dial it down at the gym. Which I was already doing.
But all that to say, who the heck knows, besides God, when Baby Q will debut. I could go tomorrow, or be 2 weeks past my due date. Dilation or no it doesn't mean a darn thing, we all know stories of women who are dilated to a 4 for 3 weeks before the "go" and others who nothing seems to be happening and then BAM! They are in full on labor the next day. I just hope I don't have to endure all this for more than 5-6 more weeks however--selfish, yes, but it's the truth.

Oh and remember THIS POST {4 blood draws, 3 hours...} and how I said as an RD I was fairly confident I didn't "pass" the 3 hour?! Yeah, well guess who was right? Well, it wasn't the doctor. My OB looked at the numbers and said I borderline failed and that they would error on the side of caution. Which is what I thought from the beginning, but who am I, just a dietitian. SO I am suppose to have an appt with and endocrinologist sometime and start testing my blood sugars and watching my diet...who knows when that will be, I am already doing most of that, so whatev.

HB 132, measuring 30 weeks.

So there is all I have learned at my pre-natals over the last month. I go back in two weeks to learn more good news I am sure. :)

Symptoms: Uh, contractions. And I keep losing vision in my left eye every so often. Does that happen to anyone else while pregnant? It is so weird. I think the baby is just hitting a nerve, but still it isn't fun.

Interesting things that happened/anecdotes:
*In case some of you haven't caught on yet, Baby Q and Lo will be TWO years apart(ish). This pregnancy mirrors Lo, nearly week for week. Here is a picture of me 28 weeks pregnant with Lo in front of our tree.

28w pregnant with Lo!

Now here is one of me in the same outfit at 28 weeks in front of our tree. Do I look smaller, bigger, or the same?

Baby Q 28 weeks

I say bigger/same.

*Just hoping to make it to 36 weeks. Which incidentally is during TOC week, which I will find so funny if I go into labor then. {Sorry but inside family joke}.

*We have a name...finally, but it is still a secret so don't bother getting it out of me, my hairdresser already tried for over an hour and I STILL never caved! She ruthless I tell ya. ;)

Sorry this was so long, but I just want to remember everything as it is going on. One day someone may appreciate it.

Nursery Re-do

Those of you "lucky" enough HA! to be my friend on facebook know a few weekends ago we re-did Lo's room and what a sob fest it was for me!

Why? Because she and her bro have to share {eventually}. We only have two bedrooms up and I don't feel comfortable putting a barely 2 year old downstairs to sleep alone. I know many do it, I just don't want to. Anyway, her room was pale pale PALE pink. I was fine leaving it as it, I mean seriously. Our society finds it socially acceptable for a girl to be dressed in blue, but heaven forbid a boy sleep in a pale pale PALE pink room! ::Gasp at the thought:: I digress. SO my husband re-painted it. I was having nothing to do with it, other than supervising and choosing the paint color. ;)

So the story goes a little something like this.

We buy a white/gray color of paint a week before because the goal was to have my little sister help. However, that didn't work out.

Thursday {Thanksgiving Day}--I am in the basement alone, at my in-laws, because Lo doesn't like Thanksgiving food either :), flipping through a home decor magazine. I see these beautiful white and black rooms with bold splashes of color. A light goes off. Why should we paint the room white? Let's do blue or green.

Friday I pick out a green that I am sure will be perfect.
Here are the BEFORE shots:

This is the Final shot of Lo's pink room.

See what I mean about the pale pale PALE pink...you can hardly tell it.

Saturday Chad paints all day. I love the color, I think it is all going to come together. We move in the furniture. And this is what we saw:

This picture really doesn't do it justice. The color is actually pretty, but with all the furniture and pink it's well...is hideous.

AWFUL! I hated it! I nearly started crying. Ok I did. Painting Lo's room was bad enough for me and now this debacle! Chad very sweetly said "I guess I will be painting again tomorrow."

Sunday Chad painted the day away again. And it ended so much better. I loved it even more because it was WAY closer to what her room looked like initially.

Here is the "FINAL" product. I use the term loosely because
1. we still don't have his name up on the wall {and won't until after he is born}.
2. it is still going to be Lo's room for quite sometime even after he arrives. She is I am no where near ready to transition her to a big girl bed.
3. I still have some decorating to do to incorporate more blue and dialing down the pink.

My mom made her big girl quilt...isn't it lovely?!

Lo enjoying her new bed! She loves it.
I will gladly take tips on transitioning...

Baby Q's Scrapbook

So a LONG time ago I promised Baby Q's scrapbook. I know you all have just been dying to see it. HA!
Well, your wait is over. ;) I am back at scrapbooking again, trying desperately to stay as "caught up" as I can. And his is as "caught up" as it can be at this point, you know until he arrives...

I blacked out his name, for those of you sneaky ones out there...
::ahem Melissa, Mom::

4 Blood draws, 3 hours, and 2--50g of Orange drink = 1 not so happy camper

Thursday was my 3 hour GTT (glucose tolerance test). I have been dreading this day since I found I had to do it 8 days ago. I put it off as long as I could. But alas, I decided it best to go in and really see if I in fact had GD (gestational diabetes) rather than just taking the diagnosis.

I had to fast for this one (too). {I had to fast for the one hour too, only because in my first pregnancy I failed the one hour and had to take the 3 hour as well}. Anyway Chad couldn't be home until the afternoon, so I hadn't eaten anything since 8pm the night before. Can you say starving?!

130p-fianlly get my fasting blood drawn. Lab tech hands me the 100g of nasty orange syrup. Except there is a huge hole in the cup and it is pouring all over us! She runs to get another cup. I sit there contemplating if I should start chugging or not, but then I was afraid she would make me drink extra, so instead I sat there watching it pour all over me and the floor. Awesome.

Tech comes back. "Sorry but we are out of 100g [orange syrup nastiness]. You will need to drink TWO of the 50gramers."
Even more awesome.

On the upside the 50g aren't so bad. More like drinking a real orange crush soda {I am use to diet soda only}. Let's just say my bladder was FULL and I spent the next hour taking potty breaks every 5 minutes!

130-200p-sit in exam room all alone staring at the ceiling trying to read a book.

200p-get a slight queasy feeling and headache. Must shut eyes.

230p- 2nd blood draw. This one leaves a big ole mark! Ouch!!

230-330p-sit in exam room all alone, staring at ceiling, listening to my ipod and laughing at all the songs my hubs surprising put on there.

330p- 3rd blood draw.

330-430p-again sit in exam room all alone, staring at the ceiling, listening to ipod and now thinking about how badly I want to eat!

430p-4th and finally blood draw, on same arm she mutilated during the 2nd blood draw. Big ouchie again!!

GO HOME!!

Except now I can't find my cell phone. I searched everywhere. Finally, I kindly ask the lab tech if could call it to find it. You know where it was? In.the.trash! That's right, I threw it away at some point during my delirium. There was no accident about it. The ONLY way for it to get in the trash was for me to put it in there. I was embarrassed when the lab tech pulled it out. I felt like such an idiot.

Anyway, overall, I actually survived this, unlike with Lo. I only got a mild headache and slightly dizzy. It did hit me pretty hard that night, I started getting a low feeling, which never feels good. I could hardly hold Lo and felt like I was going to drop her trying to get her to bed.

Thanks everyone who prayed. I really felt them and know it helped me get through this so much more easily than my previous time. I really felt God's hand in this. I think it really helped me to drink 2 50gramers than the straight 100g, I attribute that hole in the cup to God...He knew what I needed.

Now for the results. I "passed" I use that term loosely, because as an RD I know what my numbers should be and I wasn't exactly pleased, but they weren't off the charts either, just borderline.

Again thanks for the prayers!

28 weeks {aka Watch Mommy Grow}

How far along: 27w 3d {I am posting early, because next week I go back to work for the week and won't even have energy to post anything substantial}.

This is at 27w0d.
I love how Lo is always sneaking into the pics!

28w pregnant with Lo!

Total Wt Gain/Loss: +10#
Maternity Clothes: Definitely wearing, especially pants! I love dresses and tunics, but mostly just live in sweats.

Best Moment thus far: ...sometimes I lift my shirt up and watch him squirm around in there, that always makes me smile.

I have been thinking about this verse a lot lately.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. ~Ps. 139:13-14

I also, love how Lo is understanding something about what is going on. She talks about "baby" all the time and lifts up my shirt to give him 'moochies.

Gender: BOY!

I don't think I ever shared my 20w u/s pics yet. Here he is!

Movement: His movements aren't as great as Lo's were. I just feel him some, enough to know that he is in fact still alive. Although, I have started to feel a few rib kicks. Not going to lie, I am entering the phase of movement I loathe! I hate being beat up from the inside out, I do NOT find it cute or endearing. So it looks like gone are the days of the sweet gentle movements. :(

Milestones: Baby’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped you off yet?) Baby is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as you’ve also probably noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments. ~(courtesy of thebump.com)

Food Cravings: Pizza, Chocolate, Soups (especially taco or tortilla), Apples and Raw Broccoli with Ranch dip. Mmmm good.

What I miss: My brain. It is official gone. Mommy brain + pregnancy brain is not a good combo! :)

Sleep: Lately it has been good. I wear myself out by the end of the day I am ready to sleep! And I can still sleep on my tummy which makes for better nights.

What I am looking forward to: The end. 10ish weeks and counting!!! {God willing}

Belly Button: Completely popped out. It is so embarrassing!

What I learned at my pre-natal visit: I won't go back until 1st of Dec, b/c I went late last time, and Lo needs pt2 of her flu shot. I try to avoid going to the Dr. like the plague. Not b/c he is a bad Dr., quite the contrary, just hate going. But I do know after this next visit I start going every 2 weeks! Isn't that beyond crazy? Didn't I just tell ya all I was knocked up yesterday?!

BUT I do have my 3 hour GTT test Thur (Nov 18). I really was trying to come up with every conceivable notion to get out of it, but I am putting on my big girl panties and going. If you think of it I wouldn't snub my nose at a prayer or two. But my bet is that the way things are going in this pregnancy I come back with a big fat positive for GD {gestational diabetes}.

Symptoms: Other than the constant stream of braxton hicks contractions I get about every few days, I feel good. Oh and just plain tired again. There is so much I want and need to accomplish during nap time and the evening hours, yet I find myself taking a nap and/or going to be 20 minutes after my daughter. She goes to bed at 7p.

Interesting things that happened/anecdotes:
*I have yet to dream about our baby. Not once. Chad has had 2 or 3 dreams already. However, the other night I had a dream about him her. That's right I dreamt our baby was a GIRL. I could see her and everything. It was like I never even knew I was pregnant with a boy, it was always a girl we were/are getting. Weird huh?! I suppose you just never know until they are here although this sono pic does seem to suggest the obvious.


*I THINK, and I stress think {so family don't hound me} that we have settled on a name...I am more confident this time about it, but not so confident I am purchasing his monogram yet. Actually, I/we have it narrowed down to two choices, but I am leaning more towards one now.

I imagine there may be a whole post on the subject once he is here. :) Until then each family member has named him something and continues to call him these silly names.

*We {and by we, I mean my little sister Meg and Chad, I am just picking paint color and supervising,} are going to paint Lo's room over Thanksgiving ::tear:: to make way for the boy. I was/am against this idea, but Chad and Meg insisted, thus why I refuse to take part in the painting process, not because it is "dangerous" for a pregnant woman to paint. Lo's room is the lightest shade of pink available, I don't see the big deal, we can add splashes of blue in there...but alas, I guess I got out voted by all. :(

But I do want the room ready to go before Baby Q gets here. Lo will stay in her crib for awhile, and Baby Q will be in our room in a bassinet. But we are still going to go ahead and get Lo's toddler bed/mattress ordered and toddler quilt made, {b/c I loathe all those cutesy character quilts...I mean seriously!} and set-up. I may start transitioning her during nap times to her BIG GIRL bed, still a little nervous about the night time...

Could I Please Just Get One Break?

This is how I feel regarding this pregnancy. I can't catch a break to save my life and personally, I don't know how much more I can take without breaking.

So once again I failed the Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT). And once again I have to endure the 3 hour test. For those of you who have never had the privilege of taking the 3 hour test, you have no idea how bad it is. Seriously, I count it amongst the worse days of my life. Top 3 for sure!

I am just done.
I am tired of the stress and worry I have every day about whether or not our son will be special needs or not.
I am tired of having contractions all.day.long. for days on end.
I am angry I have to take the 3 hour test.
I am just done.

I have been trying to be a more positive person, but today is NOT that day. Today I am complaining. And if I fail the 3 hour, I don't even want to talk about what state I will be in. It won't be the Gestational Diabetes that bothers me (I am an RD with more Type 1-insulin dependent diabetics in my family than you can count) it will be that yet again, God has to throw another ire into my fire. I guess I am just not getting the lessons HE wants me to learn, so He keeps giving me more! I sure hope in the end I come out shiny and new, because at this point I have my doubts (about myself, not God).

So today is a bad day.

Baby Q Pre_Natal Update

My prenatal appt was actually normal for once. No bad, or ambiguous news this time. Unless you count our decision NOT to have the 28 week u/s. There are lots of reason we opted out, but the big one being, if I hear one more set of odds about this baby, you will have to lock me up in an institution. It is taking all my inner strength and lots and lots {and lots and lots} of prayer for me to get through this. Most days I just pretend nothing exists and bury my head in the sand. That is usually my go to answer for problems...mature I know. :) I wish there were words to convey how this pregnancy is effecting me, but there aren't, or I don't have them.

On the upside, they now have TWO female OBs in their practice. Yay! Currently I am only seeing our GP because I like him way better than my last OB, but at 34/36 weeks I get the boot to an OB and now I can have a female one.

The weird crazy thing is, I see him next month and then start every TWO WEEKS, holy cow!!! Where did this pregnancy go?! I am not ready to be a mom to two yet!!!

However, evidently it is time for the dreaded Glucose test :/...mostly, I just hate how it makes me feel, and I just pray I don't fail it, like I did with Lo. I barely survived the 3 hour test last time. ::shudder::

Finally, I am measuring good and his little heartbeat is 160bpm. This always amuses Chad and I because Lo's was off the charts the entire time, I am not sure she ever really trended down until birth! This could explain a lot. HA!

Editor's Note: Check THIS post out from GirlTalk...it is as if God read my post today and is commenting to me.

24 Weeks {aka Watch Mommy Grow}

How far along: 25w 2d (I am just so behind, it has been a busy few weeks!) Sort of the theme with this pregnancy. He will be here before I know it, now that the holidays are hitting.

Here I am with Baby Boy Q at 24 weeks. Honestly I think that tunic makes me look far more ginormous than I am, but oh well.

Here I am with Lo at 25 weeks. So much smaller I think.

Total Wt Gain/Loss: don't know around +7-10 I am guessing?!!? Not too thrilled about this, b/c I gained only 2-3# with Lo at this point. It wasn't until after the holidays that they could even get weight on me. Plus, I work out like crazy, so it must be muscle tone...right?!

(PS I know you are rolling your eyes at me Melissa, but I don't care I don't like it!) ;)

Maternity Clothes: Definitely wearing, especially pants!

Best Moment thus far: Is it bad I don't have one? I have been so overwhelmed with all that is going on not only with the baby, but just busy doing life, I have hardly paid any attention to what is going on inside. But Chad did start feeling Baby Q move a week or so ago.

Gender: BOY!

Movement: He use to move around like crazy, but now I hardly notice any movement at all. Matter of fact last night I was laying in bed wondering when the last time I felt him move was (it was that morning, but still you would have thought there would have been other movements in the day), but again I have been swamped these last few weeks going going going, that I haven't stood still long enough to notice...Did that happen to you guys?

Milestones: Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes. ~(courtesy of thebump.com)

Food Cravings: Apples.

What I miss: My brain. It is official gone. Mommy brain + pregnancy brain is not a good combo! :)

Sleep: Lately it has been good. I wear myself out by the end of the day I am ready to sleep!

What I am looking forward to: Nothing really. Just soaking up our family of 3 right now. I will tell you what I am not looking forward to and that is the Glucose test that they will be giving me here soon. Yuck! And all I have to say is I better not fail it this time!

Belly Button: Completely popped out. It is so embarrassing!

What I learned at my pre-natal visit: Haven't gone yet. :/ (It is scheduled for this week) But every time I go, I don't come home with the best news {mostly ambiguous}, so can you blame a girl for not wanting to go.

Symptoms: Other than the constant stream of braxton hicks contractions I get about every few days, I feel good.

Interesting things that happened/anecdotes: We are trying to settle on a name, but it is hard. This is such a big decision. When we picked Lo's name it was like the angels sang and we knew it was perfect. We have names, we try them out, but nothing seems "right."

Any suggestions on boy names? I like plain and simple, nothing to crazy or out there.

I had to bust out my "bump pillow." It is nothing fancy, just a very old pillow that is practically flat, it gives just the right support to my belly, plus as I flip flop around it stays with me unlike those fancy ones!

Back when I was pregnant with Lo, I took a pic with my two sons. I use to laugh and wish I was pregnant with a boy, so I could say "My Three Sons" like that old TV show....well, now

I AM!
Here are "My Three Sons!"

Tucker, looking less than thrilled about another baby coming! HA!

Specialist Appointment for Baby Q

I am a writer. That is how I best express my emotions, speaking my feelings has never come easy for me. So bare with me as I go through an in-detail account of this experience.

~~~~~~~~~~

Last Thurs (Oct. 7th) we had our specialist appointment. It started off with the longest sono I have ever endured. The tech measured every.single.body part. on this boy. {Oh and he is FOR SURE a BOY! He left nothing to the imagination that morning. HA!} Of course it seemed to take extra time because he couldn't sit still and she had to take the measurements several times. Then he decided to bury his head way down in my bladder and hide. Those of you who have had babies know personality in the womb equals personality outside the womb. I am definitely in for another treat!

Sorry for that bunny trail.

After that we saw the OB. Our Boy has these cysts in his brain. This occurs often in pregnancy and can mean nothing or it can be a "soft/weak" marker for Trisomy 18. After doing the second sono they are very confident based on development that our son does NOT have Trisomy 18.

Next up was the heart. Most babies with a developmental disability will have a heart defect. Our son did have a calcium deposit on his heart, again something fairly common and again another "soft/weak" marker for Down's.

At this point I am feeling extremely overwhelmed and trying to hold it together. This moment was a moment that was a culmination of everything that has been going on with this pregnancy up to this point.

Chasing a bunny trail:
I also (at 19 weeks) was diagnosed with a bacterial infection {BV} that puts me at risk for pre-term labor. Starting at 16 weeks I was experiencing contractions both real and braxton, but it took me 3 weeks to finally talk to the doctor about it. I just assumed this may be "normal." I was put on a fun little antibiotic to help clear up the infection, but it doesn't necessarily cut your risk of pre-term labor. :/ I am just to be conscientious at this point, but really that is all that I can do unless something more happens.

So when I go in for my 20 week ultrasound and I start hearing all this new news I am just at my wits end. I just never realized my pregnancy could be this difficult. I am having a hard time understanding all this, except God is really testing my faith and trust in Him by putting me through the refiner's fire.

Back to the appointment.
My options at this point are to do an amnio to know for sure if our son has down's or just wait and see at birth. The amnio comes with the risk of miscarriage (1/1600). Our doc asked us to think about whether knowing now was worth the risk of a possible miscarriage?! Considering they felt like our chances of having a Down's baby was around 1%.

To some of you the answer may be simple and clear, but to me it wasn't. One percent sounds like nothing, but to me it might as well have been 10, 20 , or 50%. I am a planner, I felt like I needed to know. It isn't that it would change anything or I would love our son less if he happens to be Down's, I just felt like knowing would help us know what to do if he is Down's.

However, Chad was not on board with the amnio and our Dr. wanted us to go home and sleep on it. She said she would gladly give us another ultrasound at 28 weeks to check his growth and see if they could see any other signs of Down's. (Although, Down's seldom shows up on ultrasounds).

It took me several days and talking it out with my sister (who was a high risk pregnancy with the same doctor) and my husband that made me realize that finding out and risking a possible miscarriage was not worth it.

At this point it is in God's capable hands. Some people might read this and think that there is nothing I need to worry about because the chance is so slim. All I can say is while mentally I realize that, my heart is still consumed with wonder. It is just a mommy feeling.

I do feel {mostly} at peace with my decision and I feel like my stress level isn't that high, but since that Thurs, my contractions and braxton hicks have picked back up...maybe that is a fluke or maybe it is stress related. Who knows.

I do still appreciate your prayers when you think of it. I wish I had the new sono pics loaded so I could show my son off to you, but alas I have no scanner, so that will have to wait for another post. :)

Thank you to all of you for your love and support of us, we can definitely feel it!

Gender Reveal Party

So we've been keeping a little secret.

On Wed, we went for our 20 week ultrasound. However, this time I wanted to do something fun to reveal the gender to our family, especially since this is it for us.

I secretly invited everyone over for dinner. When the arrived they were greeted with this sign:

Then we had everyone break up into teams:

Team PINK (Chad and I were on team Pink)

Team BLUE

Then they each got a cupcake and when they pulled back the wrapper the discovered it was a:

That's right I couldn't have been more wrong! We are having a little BOY! This is beyond shocking to both of us really. We really only ever pictured our family with two girls. I will admit I was a little "bummed" about not getting another girl, but it will be great to have one of each...it should be interesting to say the least!

I would also like to ask for your prayers as I go through this pregnancy. The sonogram showed some "abnormalities" and will be followed up on with a specialist. It is something that can and does occur in a lot of pregnancies, so it could be nothing or it could evolve into something. It is hard to say. As I learn more I will update more, but for now I just ask for prayers for a healthy baby BOY!

The Lost Baby Files: Will it be a Boy or Girl!??!

Today is the day. I am so anxious to find out if we are having a BOY or GIRL!! The suspense is killing me. It is funny because this appointment has been scheduled secretly for weeks, although I told anyone who asked that I hadn't scheduled it yet and didn't mind waiting. {Sorry guys, but I am enjoying the secrets this time around. I find it quite amusing to keep, namely our families, in suspense.}

Anyway, truly I didn't mind the wait {I am one of those weirdos that wants to be the last to open her gifts, because once you know you can't go back to the imagining or thrill of the surprise} and by "lying" to everyone it kept my mind off it, that is until...today! Time is standing still.

With Lo I KNEW she was a girl for the second the stick showed a "+" sign. Then the day before her sono, I just got this overwhelming, indescribable feeling she was a girl. This time none of that. I am still going on the record with girl. However, last night a piece of me thought boy for sure. You should have seen Chad's face light up when I said that.

Guess we will find out soon. Very soon!!

~~~~~~~~~~

So we just got home. It's a BOY! We are so shocked. We both really thought girl, so it seems really weird to be having a boy. Although, it is nice to get one of each!

The only thing is now the sono tech called tonight to tell me, that I need to come back tomorrow to have a doc watch her do the sono because they didn't like one of the pictures she took and they want to watch it in real time. Awesome.
Why can't they just tell you what is going on?!?!

To be continued...

~~~~~~~~~~

So we went back for the sono this morning. They wanted to look at the brain and kidneys. We still don't know much. They think what they are seeing is a fluke-type thing. Nothing serious. Let's just pray it stays that way. However, we still haven't heard back from our real doctor on his thoughts, so now I wait for that.

This is just hard. If I may be honest, I have felt that something would go wrong with this pregnancy from the beginning. I prayed it wouldn't, but it was just a feeling I had. Everything seemed to be going well, until week 16. I alluded to in the 20 week post, that I was experiencing some problems. What I thought was round ligament pains were in fact contractions. I knew that, I just didn't want to believe it. I have also been having BH contractions like crazy since as well. Come to find out I have a bacterial infection that puts me at risk for pre-term labor, thus probably why I am already experiencing some contracting. There isn't anything to do, but treat the infection and be conscientious at this point. Fine. I can handle that.

Then we go for this 20 week sono and get this news. Why I still don't know if it is good or bad, it is just another check under the "what else can go wrong" category. So God is really not taking away my fear of something going wrong anytime soon. I do trust God and what He is doing in our lives. This is just another test of our faithfulness, no matter the outcome, I KNOW God is in control and I am at peace with that, but it doesn't mean I am not slightly frustrated that things are not going as smoothly as I had hoped.

20 Weeks {aka Watch Mommy Grow}

It seems like everyone on pregnancy #2 does comparison shots between their pregnancies on these things, so I don't want to be left out and not part of the "cool gang." :) So here are mine:

Baby Q 19 weeks

Lo 19 weeks

How far along: 19w 5d
(I am doing this a bit early b/c I went to the doc early AND b/c I took a bump pic w/ Lo at week 19 and not 20, makes it easier for me to "compare." :) )

Total Wt Gain/Loss: +3 (total)

Maternity Clothes: Still not technically needed, but I like to wear them just to get the "goody" out of them.

Best Moment thus far: Baby Q is getting stronger and I can feel "her" more often. I am starting to get an idea of "her" schedule. And of course hearing the heart beat that never gets old.

Gender: currently unknown. I am still on the girl bandwagon. Any guesses out there? VOTE on my poll.

Movement: Like a rock star. I mean seriously. I am nearly sea sick by the end of the day with all the flips and twists s/he is making. I never felt Lo like this until around 21-23 weeks. I know they say the 2nd time around you notice sooner, but seriously, if Lo moved like this I would have noticed...right?!

Milestones: Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion and dead cells), which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, speaking of the diaper situation... baby's genitals are now fully formed!

~(courtesy of thebump.com)

Let's just hope Baby Q isn't a meconium baby like Lo was. I would like to hold you after you are born, rather than watching a team of neonates rush in to "catch" you!!! So don't be over zealous here! ;)

Food Cravings: I don't know if craving is the right word, but I sure can oink down my fair share of egg sandwiches! (made at home, not from nasty Micky D's). I am constantly craving Italian food and tomatoes! And I have to admit I really want candy all the time too. I just don't give into that one!

What I miss: My brain. It is official gone. Mommy brain + pregnancy brain is not a good combo! :)

Sleep: Sometimes yes, mostly no. I am hot, I can't get comfy, and I still have to tinkle all night.

What I am looking forward to: Getting the gender sono! Probably should get that scheduled, eh?! I want to know, but then it is sort of fun not knowing...but I won't make it all the way to 38-40 weeks not knowing.

Belly Button: In betweeny. This is weird to me with Lo my belly button didn't pop out until I was nearly done. But I am already noticing it starting to stick out. :/ weird.

What I learned at my pre-natal visit: The heart beat is 144bpm. And that you shouldn't chalk up aches and pains to just "normal" pregnancy stuff. I won't go into it here, but I went in a week early because I was experiencing some pain that I just didn't feel good about. I am glad I went and hopefully we can stay on top of it.

Symptoms: Weird dreams. HOT!!! Thank goodness for having winter babies, I can't imagine being this hot and it being during the heat of summer!! Round ligament pains. Another thing I never experienced with Lo. They feel more painful than labor pains or pretty close to it! Also braxton hick contractions nearly every.single.day. That didn't start until week 23 with Lo, so this bugs me. :/

Interesting things that happened/anecdotes: I am still loving Lo knowing she is going to be a big sister. She knows where the baby is and loves to give "her" 'moochies. So far nothing interesting is happening because most people don't even know I am pregnant, so I am not getting their "wisdom" imparted on me like some. :)