Consequences.

So yesterday I posted on "First Time I say it..." and I realized I didn't say what happens when they don't; so here are my thoughts on our consequences and punishments: Now each family has to decide what is right for them, based on their kids and personalities; but again this is what works for us.

Time outs. If they don't obey the first time they are immediately taken to time out. {2mins for MW, 4 mins for Lo--it's based on age}
After time out they are to get up and apologize to whomever they hurt/disobeyed and they they are to recite an appropriately matching Bible verse to plant those seeds in their hearts.

Obedience-”Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Eph. 6:1

Lying-“Keep your lips from speaking lies.” Ps.34:13

Lying “An honest person has respect for the Lord.” Pro. 14:2

Fear- ‘When I am afraid I will trust in You.” Ps.56:3

Kindness-”Be kind to one another, tender hearted and forgiving each other just as Christ forgave you.” Eph. 4:32

Friendship—”A Friend Loves at ALL times...” Proverbs 17:17

Kindness-“So let us do all we can to live in peace. And let us work hard to build each other up.” Rom. 14:19

Anger-”Fools give full vent to their rage but the wise bring calm in the end.  Pro. 29:11

Patience—“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Eph 4:2

Good Attitude--Brothers and sisters, continue to think about what is good and worthy of praise. Think about what is true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected. Phil 4:8 

Strength--“I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

Also we are big believers in natural consequence. If they fight over a toy or disobeying me while playing the iPad or watching a show, then it is taken away immediately and then most likely going to time out on top of that. {Time out really allows them and YOU the moment to cool off and calm down, before proceeding with any other consequence--if necessary at all, you don't want to go overboard. They are just kids and learning.}

As a side bar Leighton is highly emotional and we have to be careful in our discipline and allow her the time to calm down sometimes. She can get so out of control in crying hysterics that she doesn't hear anything we are saying and begins to panic and literally hyperventilate.  At this point we ask her to do breathing techniques and speak as soft as we can to her. Sometimes we have to leave her in her room to calm down and sometimes we have to hold and rock her...just depends on the moment, the problem and situation at hand. But you are smart parents you know when you kids need you and when they are playing you.

For instance the other day we asked Lo NOT to jump off the piano bench for fear she would get hurt. She did so anyway, and DID get hurt. Scrapped a chunk of skin off her back. OUCH! We felt bad for her and showed appropriate sympathy and care for her wound, but she still went to time out for it and we discussed how that injury could have been avoided if she had only listened. Now she goes around saying "I really wish I would have listened and not jumped off the bench, so my back wouldn't hurt."
"I know baby girl, let that be a lesson to listen next time and trust us!"
"I know, I will." Natural consequence.

We really let the situation be our guide on the punishment. There have been times one child had to sit on a park bench while the other played for a little while due to not minding.

These all seem so harsh when typing them out and I hated doing it, but you know what, we have fewer of these consequences now because they learned from them. And bottom line they KNOW momma and daddy MEAN BUSINESS. If we say it WE MEAN IT!

I am big on that. I make sure that the "threats" I give my kids can be backed up. I don't threaten to take all their toys and throw them in the trash if I am not really going to do that...so if I say I MEAN IT.

This also builds on our word ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS means something. IF you say you will do something, then you will honor it and DO IT! Positive or negative. I said I would take them to the park then I better do it!

And finally, like I said my kids are good kids and I make sure they know it. We reward and praise positive behavior all.the.time.  As simple as "thank you for obeying me..." or "that was so nice to share that...with..." and so forth. I don't want my kids to think they world revolves around them or that I need to stroke their egos, but I do want them to recognize I see the good and the bad. No one likes it when they feel like they are being picked on or all mom notices is everything I do wrong. I want them to hopefully recognize that we noticed both! :)

And that is how we do it here. :) We aren't perfect and we screw this up plenty, but I find having a plan in place first makes it easier to implement then on the fly.
Maybe you found this helpful, maybe you didn't, but like I said I want my kids to know where I am coming from one day as they sit and therapy thinking about their childhood. ;) Just kidding...sort of.

First Time I Say It...

This post is really for me and my kids.

My blog is a story of our lives that I enjoying sharing with everyone, but it is also a journal for my kids to be able to one day look back on and remember what they were like as babies, and toddlers, as well as the thoughts mommy had all about life. Because I am a real person, not just Leighton and Micah's mom.

This is just what I have found to work for us.

I have never really struggled with the "terrible twos." Sure we have had our moments, that sometimes lasted a week or so, but overall they both are really good kids. I find myself wondering if it has to do with our parenting style, their genetics, or a combination of both.

Most likely the latter.

{when Leighton was 2...}

Chad and I truly believe in expectations. You will always get from your kids what you expect from them. If I expect that are incapable of managing their emotions at the tender age of 2 then they won't. Sort of like potty training; my expectation of my kids was that they WERE capable of mastering this skill at the age of 18 months and they did. I can go on and on about how my kids know what I expect of them and if they behave differently then there will be a consequence. 

In today's generation I feel that essence of expectation is gone. Everyone is entitled to just "do what they want." Unacceptable. :) When I was growing up it was the same way.

When we first moved to "Mayberry" we got real cable for a brief time, since it was free-ish. During that time I got into the 19 and Counting show on TLC with the Duggar family. Now if there is one other person in this world entitled to write a parenting book aside from God himself {aka the BIBLE}, it is Michelle Duggar. 19 kids. And not just any kids, very well-behaved, respectful kids, who love the Lord. 

During one of the episodes she said to one of her kids, "First time I say it..." "You obey it." Replied the child. Holy cow this blew me away. What a novel idea. Why hadn't I thought of this?! My kids are good and fairly well-behaved, but I still found myself saying over and over again to stop! How often do your kids know your limit whether it is 3x or 12x; they know how many times you are going to ask before consequence sets in. It's a gift they possess. And why shouldn't be the FIRST TIME?!

I immediately implemented it and at the tender ages of 1 and 3 they both did it. As life would have it my inconsistency won out and over time it faded. We still said it, but the meaning was lackluster at this point. 

My mother in law got us this book on Raising kids to Love the Lord. In it they talked about this same principle  but they shed new light on it that tripped my trigger to remain consistent. They spoke that by teaching your children this principle now that when GOD asks them to do something, they will the FIRST time HE asks. WOW! This is so important to me. I want my kids to love the Lord and to obey him THE FIRST TIME.

I know Chad and I struggle with always trusting in what God asks of us and how many blessings did we miss out on because of that lack of obedience. How many blessings do our kids miss out on because the didn't obey us the first time and now they are in trouble. They didn't see the big picture that I may reward them with a trip to the park after our errands if they were "good**." Most likely the same happens to me with God. 

This "First time I say it..." principle has revolutionized our parenting. They both know where that line is and there are wait for it...LESS tantrums/meltdowns because of it. For instance Micah is a very strong willed child, he kept throwing flubber/playdough on the ground. I asked him to stop and said "first time..." He repeats "obey it." Then he proceeded to throw it on the floor again. I bent down,  picked it up and said all gone. I told you not to throw it again and you disobeyed. There were no tears. No meltdowns. Just a defeated "okay." 

Now the first few days were a tad rough where they had to re-learn the line, but after that it is fine. I am a yeller. I don't yell, near as much anymore at them, because I am not constantly telling them to stop something 15x in a row before they stop. Our home is more peaceful. I pray we continue this. 

I am not going to lie it is hard at times to be consistent  You want to keep giving chances because you love them, but overall it is for their own good to be firm. 

I had someone ask me if this means they don't get to do anything or ask for things. NO! This is not a dictatorship, far from it. Chad and I are fairly permissive parents within reason. The kids do what they want for the most part, this is for when I am ready to leave the gym and they are running all over refusing to put their shoes on, or when we need to leave the park (after I give ample warning that play time is ending), or when it is time to go to bed or when they are about to run into the street and become roadkill; those are the kinds of things I am referring to here. 

Bottom line all our discipline stems from love and the overall big picture and this is just another way we hope we are raising our children to be well-behaved and respectful citizens of the world.

**I use the term good loosely because I am fully cognizant of the fact that they are 2 and 4 and going grocery shopping with mommy is NOT their idea of a good time. I think some people forget that as I get looks from strangers as my kids run up and down the aisles while I am shopping. I call it a win if there was no meltdowns, hitting, screaming, tears, and of course they obeyed when asked...the first time. ;)


PT Two on Consequences HERE

Parenting Advice

No one, I mean no one parents like the Cosby's. I love this show and their creative parenting techniques. Maybe if we all parented our children like this a tad more, we could see a revolution.

My favorite part of this clip start at minute 2:50, although all of it is hilarious!

Enjoy.

Best quote: I brought you into this world and I will take.you.out! HA!

Week 3

Maybe it is more like week 156 since that is just around 3 years of having a kid.
I gave birth to this beautiful, precious, angel of a baby girl. Baby girl, did you hear me Leighton?! You are a girl, not a boy. But ever since you turned mobile the hits {literally} keep coming. Now we have thrown a boy into a mix and not just any boy, but a "if it should be climbed, I will climb it and then jump off it" kind of boy.
I knew I should have gotten that PA-C {physician assistant} or at the very least RN, good thing I have a bit of medical background with my RD; because boy do I need it around here.

So perhaps I just never noticed how many scraps, boo boos, loss of blood and broken bones we had until these last 3 weeks when I have at least one child hurt and requiring a Dora band aide nearly every.single.day. or worse a cast.

Micah broke his arm on May 9th.



Then the next week Leighton dropped a brick on her leg and ripped it open nicely {no stitches thank goodness, but our dreams of being a leg model may be dashed. ;) }


You know every time the UPS truck comes by I hold my breath hoping my Mother of the Year Award will be here...

Now here we are this weekend with a little boy I am 80% sure has hand, foot and mouth disease...but at least he is cast free. {silver lining}

I can't be for certain because he is just now starting to run a low grade temp and act all sleepy, snuggly, lovey bear. And he isn't acting at all cranky, which for my son is completely unheard of even on a good day. He doesn't even scratch or pick at the little pimply things all over his legs and hands...so who knows. Everyone I have asked says the doc doesn't do anything anyway, so I would just rather wait it out until Tuesday and take him to our beloved PCP.

I wonder if MW will be "paid off" by the time he is 18...he really knows how to rake in the medical bills. :)

So here's hoping for one boo-boo free week?! Yeah, I didn't think so either.

A mommy pick me up

My friend Ginger brought this blog post to my attention via her FB. And I just had to share it here too!

Nothing means more to me in this mommy community then moms who are willing to get down and real about what motherhood is really like. Enjoy this post!

My favorite part was when she said she hopes one day when she is the grandma in line she can tell that young mom in front of her this:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

I hope I can do that too someday. I seem to however run into more "grandmas" that look at me like they don't even remotely remember what it was like to a have a 3 year old and 1 year old.

Hope you got the mommy pick me you needed today!

Mommy Wars {Thanks Anderson Cooper}

I have a bazillion things I want/need to post on, but first I just have to get this written out and off my mind I have literally been stewing about it for days!

Did any of you catch Anderson Cooper the other day. You know the one on SAHM vs Working moms. I don't regularly watch Anderson Cooper matter of fact the only thing I regularly watch was One Life to Live and I guess Stephanie and I were the only ones, so they took it off the air last week. Big bummer for us.

Anyway as you can imagine this topic mommy war sparks a lot of emotions in people mommies. I literally wanted to jump through my tv and go all Jerry Springer on those working moms! They flat out called SAHM lazy! LAZY! They were disrespectful to any SAHM that said otherwise, by rolling their eyes and scoffing. I mean how rude is that. We are fellow moms here. We should be building one another up and supporting each other NOT tearing one another down because one works outside the home and the other doesn't it.

The show was done because there is a study floating around out there saying working mommies are happier and healthier than SAHM. I am going to just say right now I have not read this study, I have no idea how legit this study is, but I am an educated woman, even though I stay at home, and I am going to tell you this study is crap and a waste of grant money or tax payer dollars.

You can't do a conclusive study on emotion or human nature. It is ever changing. You could poll mommies all day and depending on the day and time of month we are in you better beleive we will all have different answers--every hour! When my kids are angels I am all over being a SAHM and loving every second of it. When they try my patience for days on end I am ready to look through the want ads.

I think this boils down to 3 main points:

1. There are plenty of mommies I know that LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE staying at home. It makes them who they are. Some of us have only ever dreamed of being a wife and mommy. My sister is one of them. And she is a great one, she is {as far as I can tell} completely and utterly fulfilled by this role. Then there are mommies like me who never dreamed they would ever want to be a SAHM, but as that sweet little Lo Lo girl grew bigger and bigger in my tummy the very thought of going back to work brought me to uncontrollable tears. And finally there are mommies that enjoy going to work and interacting with actual adults and coming home and spending quality time with their kids, and some who just plain have no choice in the matter.

Each of those scenarios is completely ok and works for each type of mommy. Not for one instance does one scenario say "hey I love my kid more than you love your kid." Every family has its circumstances and reasons for making said decision and that decision should be supported by the mommy community at large. Not with eye rolling and scoffing.

2. Furthermore, I feel like saying working moms are happier and healthier is a crock because in my humble opinion that is like saying that to be fulfilled as mom and woman we must all be teachers, or lawyers or dare I say it SAHM! We mommies are still individuals, with different temperaments, passions and goals for our lives. What works for one mommy will not always work for the next. Again it is about what works for your family and what keeps you sane as a mommy. I beat myself up relentlessly some days because I don't buy into this teaching my kid stuff. I don't want to do all those crafts and letters with Leighton. She doesn't want to sit down and do it any more than I do. I am slowly coming to a place where I realized I am teaching her through my passions. She isn't stupid, she will learn her numbers and letters, it just may not be at age 3.

3. To address the lazy issue. Those are just fighting words. Why would you say that?! To be honest yes, I probably get to sit on my derrière a bit more than the working mom, unless she has a desk job. And my day may not always be go-go-go, but I do stay busy being present with my children and keeping a house. I fully realize working moms do that on top of working, but such is the lifestyle you lead. It isn't fair to call me lazy because I stay at home and can do laundry and dishes throughout the day and you only have Saturday to do it. I am jealous of people who can afford other luxuries I can't like cable because of the lifestyle they chose. It is what it is, don't be rude.

Because we can all throw stones. One of the working moms on the show switched places with a SAHM. I thought this was utterly ridiculous and proved nothing.

1. The working mom took care of the SAHM kids because the working mom's son was school aged. Of course she would hate staying at home with someone else kids. I would. They aren't yours, you have no emotional ties to them, so yes the day would be draining and long. Duh.

2. I noticed that the SAHM went to a waitress job. I felt like screaming at the tv: So you are "just" a waitress. Insert eye roll. Too lazy to get a real degree...see how rude and demeaning that is. I don't really feel that way about her, but would like to see her try that on for size. We moms are doing the best we can for our families and that should never be put down no matter what you do, and how you do it.

I hate these mommy wars. I hate moms who make other moms feel bad about any of their choices. Let's try and remember what our moms and grandmoms taught us: If you have nothing nice to say then don't say it at all!

We mommies are shaping the future {our kids} and it could be a beautiful thing if we would all start building one another up and encouraging each other in this very difficult journey!

5 Minute Friday

Ok I am going to try this five minute Friday thing. I always have so much jumbled up in my head and think "oh that would be a great post topic" and then when I sit down to write it is all gone. stupid mommy brain, that or I think "no one cares what you think." But then I remember this is my blog and I can write what I want to! HA!

I have been thinking a lot about parenting. I have read several new mommies blogs and some of their "rants" are hilarious to me. One because some of them had this preconceived notion that mommyhood would be blissful and easy. HA! Wrong. Mommyhood sucks, in a great way, but it is tough and it isn't for sissys! I don't fault them I thought it too. I am exhauasted, I haven't had a good night's sleep in a year and it doesn't look like I will be getting one anytime soon. Plus, as moms we have this idea that we can make our children be this perfect, little bending to our will person. Newsflash, they have their own wills and like to assert it quiet often even at the tender age of 11 months! It is a constant reminder to die to self every.single.day. However, I am asking Santa for a two week by myself vacation. Think he will deliver?! Yeah, me neither, but a girl can dream.

Wow. Five minutes goes by fast! HA!
Well until next time!

Motherhood

'The ebb and flow of a mother's life is not unlike the ocean. Sometimes it is a gentle tide lingering upon a sandy beach; picturesque, mesmerizing and serene. Yet at other times vibrant, stormy - full and fierce, swirling and tugging her every which way...frothy and bubbling with strong under currents. Some days are naturally more heady or fraught with friction while others more peaceful and serene. Embrace the ebb and flow of your amazing life, the storm will dissipate and the currents will move on.... do not surrender to the swirls that would seek to pull you under but rather linger in the vastness of the ocean - in its beauty and grace. Embrace with open arms the ebb and flow of your full and amazing life.'

- kay weight

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

I've made mistakes being a Mom, sometimes more than I'd like to admit. But I will always be there for you, to hear you, to cheer for you, to laugh or cry with you, to protect you with my life and sometimes tell you things you don't want to hear. I will love you for all eternity. No one will ever love you more than I do, because I am your Mom.

These are some of the quotes I have seen floating around blogs and facebook over the last few days and I Love each one of them.

Motherhood is hard. It isn't what I expected it to be most every day, but it is an honor and privilege I don't take lightly. My road to motherhood wasn't an incredibly easy one and the road of motherhood has not come as naturally to me as it seems for some.


Some days I look around at other moms' blogs and lives and wish I could be more like them. I wish I wanted to do all those fun teaching activities with my kids. I want to be like those "perfect" moms that seem to have it all together.

But you know what I realized? I am not them. And I am doing a pretty good job doing what I do. My kids are healthy and thriving and isn't that all we can ask for most every day?


You want to know how well you are doing as a mommy? Just stop and really watch your kids for a moment. They will tell you. Not in I love yous, but in how they act. Some days I question my true ability to be a stay at home mommy, but then I see how Lo mommy's her babies and I think she does a fantastic job caring for her baby dolls. There is only one person on this earth that taught her how to take care of her babies and that person is me! Wow. That is humbling, she watches all I do and say. She wants to be just like me. I pray I am someone worth being like. That my words and actions are Christ like.


I love my babies; they are the ones teaching me how to be a better person and mommy. They are reflection of who I am at my very core. Thank you God for these precious gifts, there is no greater job I could ever do than be their mommy.


Of course these two great women help me to be a pretty good mommy too! With all their love, support and encouragement of me. And of course, there is only one person on this earth I learned to be a mommy from.

Happy Mother's Day!

I CAN Teach My Child

For the most part I am not that mother that goes around "teaching" her daughter everything before she turns two. I am fairly confident she will know most her colors and numbers by kindergarten and maybe could read a word or two. Fairly confident...

We like to just play.

However, I see so many cool blogs on "teaching" your kids. Then I think I should be cool like that too, and I try an idea and it fails. She has no desire to "learn" at least from me, Elmo, yes, me No! Sort of makes me sad that Super Why and Elmo (and daddy too) has pretty much taught her all she knows. ::sigh:: But I am {slowly} becoming ok with that. I guess.

Anyways, I love crafts and I can't wait until she gets more dexterous so we can do even more crafts. I saw this craft project on I can teach my child {click the link for instructions--I used foam, so it would last FOREVER ;)} and I thought we can do that, she loves tracing her hands and feet! So we did it! Yay mommy! She even glued them on herself. Yay mommy again! Minimal glue was spilled. I am feeling very proud of myself and this is the best Christmas gift she could give me, to always cherish her hands and feet for years to come.

So Proud of her craft! She couldn't wait to show daddy!!

So I guess I can teach my child...something.

Mommies Check This Out

So this morning my sweet baby daughter is still asleep. It is currently 908A. She is up before the sun every.single.morning. However, yesterday after MOPs I noticed she was running a fever. (My sincerest apologies to the other children in there with her, she was not "sick" before we went.) Yesterday it spiked to 102/103* and only dropped to around 101* with Tylenol. But she ran around like a crazy child yesterday all day, so it's hard to say...

This is not my point or what I wanted you to check out. I have some time to kill this AM and was catching up on blogs {since I myself am so tired I have been hitting the sheets by 800/830P every night I can!}, which led to blog hopping. I stumbled upon this blog: (click on it and it should take you there)

GIRLTALK

It had a bunch of scriptural/devotional motherhood thoughts laid out, under her "Current Series" image. I was definitely uplifted today by her words and scripture she has pointed me to today.
I hope you too will find it useful and feel encouraged in your journey of motherhood (at least for today)!

PS I am also going to put it on my blog roll under favorites, so you can always find it if your forget to "follow" her.

Random Thoughts on Motherhood.

click on the icon to join the randomness.

Some of my random thoughts on motherhood.

1. Why do we moms not tell each other the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Why do we fudge it? Is it so we look like a super, awesome, got it all together mom? Because I will be the first to say I am not. I love being real with moms when they ask me questions. I leave nothing out and tell it like it is (at least our run in with whatever it is in question).

For instance potty training. Most of you know I am in the throws of potty training with Lo. (We are on week 6 in case you were wondering). Things were going super great after week two. And after the superb week 4 we had {1 accident all week} I was nearly ready to announce my child was {daytime} potty trained!

Then week 5 hit. This child was having 3-4 accidents each day! I did not expect regression...what have I done wrong? And she is too little to "ask" like all the websites suggest. So we bucked up and kept going. Now we are doing better again. Back to 1-2 accidents per day.

My point. Is that I was feeling like other kids (even at 18/19 months) were getting the potty training thing and mine wasn't. Truth. They probably aren't doing any better than my daughter, they just aren't telling me the whole truth. Shoot I am even learning those who wait to potty train when their kids are 2-3 have these same troubles, but no one wants to admit "defeat."

I promised I would be honest about potty training for those of you interested in my experience. So there you have it. Some of you may {still} think I am crazy for potty training so "early," but I don't mind running a marathon with her, it takes practice and time no matter what age you start.

2. I am a little freaked out about having TWO kids. I just can't wrap my mind around it. Thankfully I still have like 4 months to, but I still don't think that will be enough time. How on earth am I going to do this?!

3. I am not sure anything has tested my faith more and trust in God than having my babies. I had to trust God with my fertility issues, and now I have to trust God with our son. I am not sure what this new life will bring us, but I know we will be able to handle it no matter what it is.

We had our specialist appt last Thursday. It went well and I will blog about it more in depth soon. I promise. But it has left me with questions and causing me to put all my fears in God's ever capable hands.

I guess I will leave it there on my random motherhood thoughts, although I have many more! HA! Happy Monday Everyone!

My Momma Always Told Me...

...this is why you have kids.


So they can do the chores for you! ;) Lo is such a great little helper and neat freak. I love having a little helper.

She is so funny, I will see her take off for her potty chair (which doubles as a step stool), slam the lid shut and carry it over to me so she can help.

Here are some recent pics of all her helping.


I love her.

The Potty Training Diaries {Monday-Wednesday}

Dear Diary,

Monday, Aug 30th 2010

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why o' why is this so hard?! I wish I had a magic wand and could magically transform Leighton into a potty trained pro. I think, I would even give up my long-time held desire to orb, if this tiny little wish could be granted.

Saturday she was doing so good and it really seemed like she was "getting it", but of course it was all new again to her, so she was an eager beaver. Now, two days later she could care less and gets quite annoyed. My new goal is teaching her the difference between wet and dry, so we are playing lots of "games" that talk about wet and dry. When I congratulate her on "dry panties" she gets excited, but then she starts applauding herself when she pees in her panties. Verdict: she doesn't get why I am excited about dry panties vs. wet.
::insert heavy sigh::

We have had 2 successful potties this AM. They are small victories and I am trying to focus on that. This is just so beyond frustrating for me. I have so little patience, so really this is probably more a lesson for me than her.

Right now I am just trying to figure out how to unlock her currency, find what motivates her...candy doesn't seem to work, and I think she is too young to understand a reward system, so I am out of ideas right now.
::Repeat: "we will get this, we will get this, we will get this."::

Tuesday, Aug 31st, 2010

Today has been a much better day. And to think I was going to just throw in the towel! Yesterday was such a debacle and I was starting to feel like she just wasn't going to ever "get it" (well at least anytime soon). However, my cousin, who has been potty training her son this past week too, encouraged me. Encouragement for both you and your toddler is key to success. This is as much work (if not more-so) for you as it is for them. So fellow mommies out there attempting this whether it be today or 6 months from now, if you need a pep talk I will give you one!

Anyway, I decided to try the timer method this morning. It sort of works like Pavlov's dogs. When the timer goes off in 20 minutes you sit on the potty and go, or at least attempt to go {you then gradually increase the time daily}. By the 4th time the timer went off, she was "terrified." She hugged me tight like I was going to torture her to sit on the potty...it was weird. I think it just freaked her out that a beep beep noise told her she had to go. Out the window that idea went. Now what?!

I then decided to just let go and remind her every so often about the potty and encouraged her to sit every so often. I looked for signs that she had to go. She would then start to go on the floor and I would yell "STOP your potty," which she did...this is a huge sign of motor control. Then she would finish on the potty and I would dance around like an idiot praising her.

Finally, she started to recognize the signs and go on her own to the potty, sit down and go! We have turned the corner. As predicted all along, my stubborn as a mule daughter would decide when she was ready and when she decides something she is all over it. That is why I think I just finally stopped "forcing" her. Once she knew I had honestly let go of the control {you can't fake her out}, she took charge!

We are far from perfect and tomorrow, shoot even this PM may be a different story, but this was super encouraging to me today to keep this momentum going...she will get it. Maybe not in a day or 3 days, but surely in a month to 6 weeks I can confidently come back here and say "WE ARE POTTY TRAINED!"

Wed. Sept. 1st, 2010

I have one word: SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today has just been another incredible day. I feel so stupid for being, so overly excited about her being potty trained. You have never seen someone so happy to see poo-poo and tinkle in the potty! We have had ZERO accidents this morning. She actually tinkled a tiny bit in her panties while sitting in my lap and then jumped up, stopped her potty and went to the potty chair! Other than that we have a perfect record so far, even two, well, number twos... I am just so proud of my girl. I can't believe we started this on Saturday day and 3/4 days later we are starting to get the hang of it.
Now, while this is huge progress and success, we still have miles to go. We haven't ventured more than 5-10 feet from the potty chair in 4 days. I still put her in a diaper for lunch since it is right before nap and she will pee in it and say nothing about it. She doesn't seem to care (and never has for that matter) how wet or dirty her diaper is. Until that begins happening we still have some work to do. Not to mention venturing out and staying dry while sleeping. I know we will get there, but for now I am extremely happy!

Biggest take home message: Each child is different. You have to learn to pick your battles and potty training isn't one of them. Let them decide to do it. I don't think it means you can't try and keep trying once you are ready to train, but stay positive, most toddlers are all about control! :) There are a zillion different methods and opinions out there, just keep trying them until you find the key that unlocks your toddler and gets you success! Good luck!

I will probably have plenty more to add about our journey, until I can officially say we are 100% potty trained and ready to take on the world sans diaper!

And again I am no expert by even a modest definition, but if you have questions for me about what I did/doing I will gladly answer them or give you my best "advice/opinion."

The Potty Training Diaries

Dear Diary,
We are now embarking on the (hopefully rewarding-- yes, it will be...someday...) uber challenging task of potty training. ::heavy sigh:: While I knew this would be challenging and require patience I do not currently (or probably ever) possess, I honestly had no idea how challenging it was/is going to be. It is kind of like before you have your first baby and everyone around you tells you how much your life is about to change...and you are like "I get it, I know my life will be different, just shut up already..." (or maybe that was just me?!) Anyways, then your baby comes and you then realize how right they were, you were oblivious. That is potty training.

Sporting our "Big Girl" Panties

Around 16 months I started talking to Lo about going potty in the big girl potty, since let's be honest I haven't gotten to potty by myself for over a year. She took right to it. She was so excited about using a big girl potty. She was very interested. So a few weeks a month later I finally bought a big girl potty chair. She was in 7th heaven. She loved that thing and played with it, AND most importantly wanted to sit on it. We toyed around with potty training to see and I felt like she was ready.

At 17 months we finally had some time at home and started this daunting process. My patience was not good, nor helpful to this process. She knew what to do. She would hold her potty for 2+ hours, but the second we would put her in big girl panties she would pee! grrr. After about 4 days of her being "stubborn" about it, I gave up. I know my daughter. She ::cough. like her daddy:: refuses to do anything that isn't her idea or choice. It doesn't matter how right mommy is or how smart they are they just "do what they want." The MOST frustrating quality they each possess!!


Now here we are at 18 months. I got a bunch of good tips and ideas on potty training from some awesome moms and it seems to be working. I also got a good helping of grace and mercy from God flowing through me too!

Today is Saturday. I told her she was a Big Girl and diapers are for babies. I put big girl panties on her and praised her every 5 minutes if her panties were dry. If she wet in them (which she did 4x) she has to go to the potty and practice pulling them up and down 10x (actually mommy does this part). After a few accidents she went to the potty a few times!!!! She was so excited to get M&Ms for going Big Girl!!!

I am so proud of her. I am hoping we can get this thing done in the next few days! And definitely before baby Q arrives. I only want to diaper one bottom! I know she can do it and I really think we may have turned the corner. ::fingers crossed::

I know this was long, but hopefully, we mommies can help each other with these "tasks." I will gladly take any tips or advice I can get. I plan to keep updating this to help future potty trainers and trainees out there. :)

Miscellany Monday

Click on the picture to see other Miscellany Monday peeps.

The weeks are really flying by and it seems like it is Monday again before I know it. I have sort slacked on this, but now I am back. I know you all have been dying to hear all the random things that go on in my life. HA! So here you go.

1. Hi! My name is Michele and I have been off facebook for 26 days. 4 more days and I think someone should award me my 30 day chip. ::ahem all you doubters out there...:: It was and is actually way easier than I thought to stay off. I can confidently say I don't even miss it. Guess what my life can go on without everyone's status updates! Who knew?! I am still toying with the idea of shutting it down completely, but that may be a bit drastic. I fear though just like any addiction that once I log back on I will go straight back to my old ways. I know I am crazy, but these are my fears people!

Editor's Note: My little sister informed me last night, that when she babysat for us Thurs night she 'hacked' my facebook account and changed my status (we sisters enjoy this practical joke, but this time I didn't find it as funny)...so just for the record that was NOT me! I still haven't been on there.

2. You know how productive you can be when your life doesn't revolve around facebook updates? Well, I had this whole list to show you, but Lo thought it made a better paper boat in her splash table, so it is gone. Let's just say I am almost re-caught up with scrapbooking, I have read 2 books and starting on my 3rd, I am preparing to start Lo on potty training in the next month, the house is cleaner, dinners are prepared...well, you get the idea.

3. I just have to share this great tip about diaper rashes. This is just one of the reasons we are moving forward with potty training besides the fact that she seems very ready. Lo has very sensitive skin, I have battled diaper rash after diaper rash since her birth. They get so bad they are practically chemical burns on her little bottom. Anyway, oatmeal is a God-send. If you little one battles diaper rash throw some oats in the tub (yes, it is messy, but so worth it) and after a little soak the next morning her bum is brand spanken new.

4. I am a SAHM. We are always looking for ways to save $. My husband came up with the brilliant idea for me to cut his hair. People I don't even know how to do my own hair. I don't care if the clippers say "idiot-proof" this is not something I feel confident doing. Matter of fact, not 2 weeks before a girl was regaling a story about how her hubs makes her cut his hair and how she royally screwed up. So my confidence was soaring. However, he insisted I could do it! So I did.

Here is before: Please note these aren't the best pictures, but hopefully, you get the idea.


And here is after:


I am actually pretty proud of myself. It turned out better than expected and I actually like it better than when his regular hairdresser does it. However, I really wish I could learn how to groom the dogs, because that is where the really money savings would happen. They cost us $70 every 6 weeks to groom, that is $420/year!! Maybe that will be my next "project."

5. Finally we just got back from a fun weekend at the lake with friends. I haven't been to a lake in years. But that will be for another riveting post.

These are my confessions

I know right now everyone is posting about their awesome 4th of July weekend. And I will too, in my next post. However, I learned something over my 4th of July weekend and wanted to share that first.

I, Michele, am addicted to facebook and blogs.

There I said it. Man does that feel good to admit and get off my chest. I have been feeling this way for awhile now, but like a true addict wasn't ready to admit out loud yet.

I can not tell you how nice it was this past weekend to start breaking that addiction. I was visiting my sister in Iowa and didn't have any computer access unless I used hers, which I basically refused to do, I needed the break.

You know what I found out? About my family!!!! Because guess what they are really the most important people in my life, not my facebook "friends." I use that term loosely because let's face it 90% of you are friends with me to "stalk" 'me and I you. HA!

Now don't get me wrong facebook is a great outlet and I will probably get back on at some point. But having this obsessive need to know what is going on in everyone's life like it will make or break mine is ridiculous! What I need is to FACE A BOOK! (HA! I saw that somewhere).

So I am saying so long to facebook for at least a month. I am sure my hubby, daughter and house will thank me for it.

Now for blogging I will continue to blog and check blogs. But I have got to limit it. You will not believe how I jump from one blog to the next. It is a problem. I get so wrapped up in people's lives and I don't even sort of know them. (I am not referring to my bloggy friends that I have made because I am getting to know you, it is the blogs you list that is my downfall HA!).

Now in my defense I don't have cable tv and the bloggy world is my "reality" tv. And let's be honest we are all more real on here than the crap reality shows they have on ABC. HA!

Overall, my point is simple. I need to spend less time in the virtual world and more time in mine. I have to recapture my precious time and spend it doing worthwhile things.

I know a lot of you probably feel the same. Hopefully, my confession will help you re-evaluate what is truly important in your life.

In My Daughter's Eyes

On Mother's Day Sunday our special music was "In My Daughter's Eyes." Pretty sure I cried through the entire thing, along with my mom! (who am I kidding, I am crying now just writing this). Having a daughter has changed my world and I am so blessed God choose her for us, and she was definitely worth the wait. This song sums up everything I feel about being a mommy.

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes


In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes


And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about


It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes


In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

~as sung by Martina McBride

Mommy-in-Training

Yes, I am a mommy-in-training. This is my trainer:

bossin' instructing me I am sure.

Isn't she cute!

I guess I am doing a good enough job because she is ready to take on being a "mommy" herself.

going in for a kiss

She is so good she can actually handle TWO babies! She is awesome. (I can't even do that). ;)

I am so glad she is my trainer. Who knows what mess I would be if I had someone who wasn't as skilled as she is...Lucky Me! :)