Mommy Wars {Thanks Anderson Cooper}

I have a bazillion things I want/need to post on, but first I just have to get this written out and off my mind I have literally been stewing about it for days!

Did any of you catch Anderson Cooper the other day. You know the one on SAHM vs Working moms. I don't regularly watch Anderson Cooper matter of fact the only thing I regularly watch was One Life to Live and I guess Stephanie and I were the only ones, so they took it off the air last week. Big bummer for us.

Anyway as you can imagine this topic mommy war sparks a lot of emotions in people mommies. I literally wanted to jump through my tv and go all Jerry Springer on those working moms! They flat out called SAHM lazy! LAZY! They were disrespectful to any SAHM that said otherwise, by rolling their eyes and scoffing. I mean how rude is that. We are fellow moms here. We should be building one another up and supporting each other NOT tearing one another down because one works outside the home and the other doesn't it.

The show was done because there is a study floating around out there saying working mommies are happier and healthier than SAHM. I am going to just say right now I have not read this study, I have no idea how legit this study is, but I am an educated woman, even though I stay at home, and I am going to tell you this study is crap and a waste of grant money or tax payer dollars.

You can't do a conclusive study on emotion or human nature. It is ever changing. You could poll mommies all day and depending on the day and time of month we are in you better beleive we will all have different answers--every hour! When my kids are angels I am all over being a SAHM and loving every second of it. When they try my patience for days on end I am ready to look through the want ads.

I think this boils down to 3 main points:

1. There are plenty of mommies I know that LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE staying at home. It makes them who they are. Some of us have only ever dreamed of being a wife and mommy. My sister is one of them. And she is a great one, she is {as far as I can tell} completely and utterly fulfilled by this role. Then there are mommies like me who never dreamed they would ever want to be a SAHM, but as that sweet little Lo Lo girl grew bigger and bigger in my tummy the very thought of going back to work brought me to uncontrollable tears. And finally there are mommies that enjoy going to work and interacting with actual adults and coming home and spending quality time with their kids, and some who just plain have no choice in the matter.

Each of those scenarios is completely ok and works for each type of mommy. Not for one instance does one scenario say "hey I love my kid more than you love your kid." Every family has its circumstances and reasons for making said decision and that decision should be supported by the mommy community at large. Not with eye rolling and scoffing.

2. Furthermore, I feel like saying working moms are happier and healthier is a crock because in my humble opinion that is like saying that to be fulfilled as mom and woman we must all be teachers, or lawyers or dare I say it SAHM! We mommies are still individuals, with different temperaments, passions and goals for our lives. What works for one mommy will not always work for the next. Again it is about what works for your family and what keeps you sane as a mommy. I beat myself up relentlessly some days because I don't buy into this teaching my kid stuff. I don't want to do all those crafts and letters with Leighton. She doesn't want to sit down and do it any more than I do. I am slowly coming to a place where I realized I am teaching her through my passions. She isn't stupid, she will learn her numbers and letters, it just may not be at age 3.

3. To address the lazy issue. Those are just fighting words. Why would you say that?! To be honest yes, I probably get to sit on my derrière a bit more than the working mom, unless she has a desk job. And my day may not always be go-go-go, but I do stay busy being present with my children and keeping a house. I fully realize working moms do that on top of working, but such is the lifestyle you lead. It isn't fair to call me lazy because I stay at home and can do laundry and dishes throughout the day and you only have Saturday to do it. I am jealous of people who can afford other luxuries I can't like cable because of the lifestyle they chose. It is what it is, don't be rude.

Because we can all throw stones. One of the working moms on the show switched places with a SAHM. I thought this was utterly ridiculous and proved nothing.

1. The working mom took care of the SAHM kids because the working mom's son was school aged. Of course she would hate staying at home with someone else kids. I would. They aren't yours, you have no emotional ties to them, so yes the day would be draining and long. Duh.

2. I noticed that the SAHM went to a waitress job. I felt like screaming at the tv: So you are "just" a waitress. Insert eye roll. Too lazy to get a real degree...see how rude and demeaning that is. I don't really feel that way about her, but would like to see her try that on for size. We moms are doing the best we can for our families and that should never be put down no matter what you do, and how you do it.

I hate these mommy wars. I hate moms who make other moms feel bad about any of their choices. Let's try and remember what our moms and grandmoms taught us: If you have nothing nice to say then don't say it at all!

We mommies are shaping the future {our kids} and it could be a beautiful thing if we would all start building one another up and encouraging each other in this very difficult journey!