Consequences.

So yesterday I posted on "First Time I say it..." and I realized I didn't say what happens when they don't; so here are my thoughts on our consequences and punishments: Now each family has to decide what is right for them, based on their kids and personalities; but again this is what works for us.

Time outs. If they don't obey the first time they are immediately taken to time out. {2mins for MW, 4 mins for Lo--it's based on age}
After time out they are to get up and apologize to whomever they hurt/disobeyed and they they are to recite an appropriately matching Bible verse to plant those seeds in their hearts.

Obedience-”Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Eph. 6:1

Lying-“Keep your lips from speaking lies.” Ps.34:13

Lying “An honest person has respect for the Lord.” Pro. 14:2

Fear- ‘When I am afraid I will trust in You.” Ps.56:3

Kindness-”Be kind to one another, tender hearted and forgiving each other just as Christ forgave you.” Eph. 4:32

Friendship—”A Friend Loves at ALL times...” Proverbs 17:17

Kindness-“So let us do all we can to live in peace. And let us work hard to build each other up.” Rom. 14:19

Anger-”Fools give full vent to their rage but the wise bring calm in the end.  Pro. 29:11

Patience—“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Eph 4:2

Good Attitude--Brothers and sisters, continue to think about what is good and worthy of praise. Think about what is true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected. Phil 4:8 

Strength--“I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

Also we are big believers in natural consequence. If they fight over a toy or disobeying me while playing the iPad or watching a show, then it is taken away immediately and then most likely going to time out on top of that. {Time out really allows them and YOU the moment to cool off and calm down, before proceeding with any other consequence--if necessary at all, you don't want to go overboard. They are just kids and learning.}

As a side bar Leighton is highly emotional and we have to be careful in our discipline and allow her the time to calm down sometimes. She can get so out of control in crying hysterics that she doesn't hear anything we are saying and begins to panic and literally hyperventilate.  At this point we ask her to do breathing techniques and speak as soft as we can to her. Sometimes we have to leave her in her room to calm down and sometimes we have to hold and rock her...just depends on the moment, the problem and situation at hand. But you are smart parents you know when you kids need you and when they are playing you.

For instance the other day we asked Lo NOT to jump off the piano bench for fear she would get hurt. She did so anyway, and DID get hurt. Scrapped a chunk of skin off her back. OUCH! We felt bad for her and showed appropriate sympathy and care for her wound, but she still went to time out for it and we discussed how that injury could have been avoided if she had only listened. Now she goes around saying "I really wish I would have listened and not jumped off the bench, so my back wouldn't hurt."
"I know baby girl, let that be a lesson to listen next time and trust us!"
"I know, I will." Natural consequence.

We really let the situation be our guide on the punishment. There have been times one child had to sit on a park bench while the other played for a little while due to not minding.

These all seem so harsh when typing them out and I hated doing it, but you know what, we have fewer of these consequences now because they learned from them. And bottom line they KNOW momma and daddy MEAN BUSINESS. If we say it WE MEAN IT!

I am big on that. I make sure that the "threats" I give my kids can be backed up. I don't threaten to take all their toys and throw them in the trash if I am not really going to do that...so if I say I MEAN IT.

This also builds on our word ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS means something. IF you say you will do something, then you will honor it and DO IT! Positive or negative. I said I would take them to the park then I better do it!

And finally, like I said my kids are good kids and I make sure they know it. We reward and praise positive behavior all.the.time.  As simple as "thank you for obeying me..." or "that was so nice to share that...with..." and so forth. I don't want my kids to think they world revolves around them or that I need to stroke their egos, but I do want them to recognize I see the good and the bad. No one likes it when they feel like they are being picked on or all mom notices is everything I do wrong. I want them to hopefully recognize that we noticed both! :)

And that is how we do it here. :) We aren't perfect and we screw this up plenty, but I find having a plan in place first makes it easier to implement then on the fly.
Maybe you found this helpful, maybe you didn't, but like I said I want my kids to know where I am coming from one day as they sit and therapy thinking about their childhood. ;) Just kidding...sort of.