Kids Say the Darndest Things {Pt2}

Yesterday I posted pt 1 of this huge list of funny quips. Man, could imagine if I had more kids how long the list would be. HA! One day I hope to compile a huge list and make a book for each kid full of the Things They Said. My MIL did this for Chad and it is hilarious to read through. Maybe someday I will post some of his childhood stuff, just so you know where my kids get this stuff from. HA!


Lo to MW: Get off my bed it isn't a jump house, mommy's is. 

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MW always says "sorry it was an AXE-I-Dent" no matter what he does. He could spill milk, or smack you with a toy {on purpose} the response is always the same. He says it so sweetly, you can't stay mad.

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We were having un-seasonably warm weather in December and I told MW to get outside and enjoy this beautiful weather.

MW: I don't WANT to enjoy the nice weather. 

1 minute passes while he sits inside.

MW: Ok. I guess I will enjoy the weather.

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MW loves to play the iPad. It started way back when I needed him to poop on the potty. I would give it to him to relax his mind and just do his business. Well now anytime he has to go he yells "I need to go poop, get me the iPad!" 

If daddy is home and playing with the iPad when the urge strikes MW whispers to me "I go to the potty, will you neak {sneak} it from him {daddy}. HA! 

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MW: mommy will you play that Gorilla song?

M: What song is that buddy? Could you sing it for me?

MW: yeah, I sing it. OH OH OHhhhhhhhh.

M: Do you mean "I can't stop singin' singin' about you; I can't stop shoutin' Oh oh ohhhh.

MW: {very matter of fact like I am incompetent} Yeah, that the one I talkin' bout.

M: of course how silly of me. 

Lo: Why wouldn't he just say the Oh oh ohhh song? What a doof {goof} ball

M: Good question Lo...don't know.

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Lo loves to play the game Hay Day on the iPad--some sort of farmville app game she and daddy do. Anyway, she was playing on it while daddy was at school and looked at me and said
"mom, I just don't understand WHY daddy can't tell me what to do on this game to help him while he is at work. I am home and can do it."

So I emailed daddy and told him her dilemma. He emails back--tell her to check the boat and fill those orders. I convey the message to her to which she exclaims "FINALLY! Some direction."
I nearly died.
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Both of them are constantly fighting about who is first born. Like it makes one better than the other. Finally the other day Lo conceded a bit and said "Well, you are the first born BOY Micah!"
I thought that was pretty good.
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We are having a teeny tiny mouse problem in our garage. Yesterday the kids were outside eating a popcorn snack and I wanted to be clear that no popcorn was to be left on the garage floor for the mice. I went back inside to do a few things and in walks Micah.
"It smells like mouse poop out there that why we come inside."
Boys and their poop talk! Anyway he can work it into a convo.
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MW loves to tell me "you are wasting my time!"
I have no idea where he has heard that 1000x before. ;)
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Thatcher is a puppy.
Puppies love to chew on everything.
Thatcher found MW's beloved rubber ducky and chewed it a bit. No real harm was done.
When we gave it back to Micah he said "is 'ubber ducky 'urt {hurt}?" in the most sad and devastated voice he could muster.
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Both of the kids back seat drive me. I can't drive anywhere without hearing
*mom you almost got us in a wreck {not true}
*mom turn here.
*mom go our special way...no no you missed it mom!
*mom go faster
*mom you are going way too fast, slow down.
*mom go on that bridge
and the list goes on. I can hardly wait for driving lessons in the next 10 years.
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Meg was out with Lo while she was riding her bike.
Meg: man, I am getting kind of tired can I hope on your back.
Lo: Don't be silly, that is not possible.
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I call the kids hoot bears. Because they are funny. Real hoots, get it...okay.
I say this to MW all.the.time. It has never bugged him before, but today when I said he was a hoot bear he responded with "STOP calling me a 'oot bear. It 'urts my feelings. Call yo-self a 'oot bear."
Wow buddy tell me how you really feel. :)
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This is my favorite.
The kids were playing in the sandbox. In comes MW and I just knew he was getting ready to tattle on Lo.
"Mom, her messed up my sand bucket. I so ANGRY!!"
M: sorry buddy, I will talk to her in a second.
As I say this he turns to go back out and I hear this "UGGGGGGHHHH!! growl come out of his mouth as he stomps down the stairs. I will laugh on this one for days!

That's a wrap folks.