I am still sad that Toby is gone. For the first few days every time I closed my eyes I saw the doctor bringing him in on a warm blanket. He laid there relaxed, his eyes searching, looking at me. When the doc asked if we were ready I wanted to scream NO! I will never be ready and then scoop Toby up and run as fast as I could. By God's grace I stood there, tears pouring down my face as Chad nodded.
I held Toby tight. I whispered in his ear "I love you." And then I heard the doctor say "He's at peace."
He's at peace has been blaring in my ears for days. DAYS. It is all I can hear. The words sting. Because they are final. But they also bring peace to me, us. Now Toby is free of his pain. Waiting for us to re-unite one day in heaven.
I didn't think I would want a new dog so quickly. But something made me feel like a new puppy would help. Chad being the tender-hearted, smart husband that he is agreed. We tried the pound, but couldn't find what I was looking for. I needed Toby back. His kindred spirit was out there. Chad had me contact our breeder. I guess I can call her that since we are now on our 3rd dog and 5th overall as a family...she just so happened to have a black, toy, boy poodle. One that was lazy, cuddly, and easy-going.
I still wasn't sure because what if...something happens to him?
he isn't like Toby?
I was betraying Toby?
We drove up/over to Hays to go meet him. Chad kept telling me he would not be Toby and I can't let what happen to Toby keep me back. He was right. Sometimes he gets to be right. Just once in awhile, we don't want to upset the balance of our marriage. :)
2.5 hours later I was snuggling with a precious baby poodle. He just laid there, just like when we got Toby. He snuggled Lo, he snuggled Chad. He was perfect. He came home with us.
It has been barely 48 hours and he is Toby's kindred spirit. Actually, he is the re-incarnation of all of our favorite dogs! {Roscoe, Moeka, and Toby}. He has taken to the kids so well. LOVES Leighton. Snuggles me and just wants nothing but love.
So I introduce you to Thatcher Beau.
And while the pain of missing Toby is still raw, he is healing all of our hearts. He will never replace Tobias, but he is definitely is filling in the void.
Watching the kids with a puppy is so fun! So glad it isn't a baby! Holy Cow. Lo has completely taken over and I can let her with a puppy. A baby not so much! HA!
Tucker THRILLED we have a new puppy! What can I say about Tuck. He is high-maintenance, OCD, yappy and fairly un-loving. He doesn't really care for the kids. He just goes around livin' life and doing his own Tucker thing. He isn't mean. Just absent. So you can see why I wanted another Toby {a pup who even in his last days let the kids snuggle and love on him!}...someone the kids could love and squeeze and play with.
Nap time reading. Thatch already learning the ropes. In bed with sis.
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