A Day At The Park

A few weekends ago my sister had a surprise visit home! It was so great to see them.
We spent Sunday at the park.

My Bro in law. Such a goof troop!

Then Tuesday we had another play date. I hate that they are so far, but we cherish the times we get!

This is what happen miliseconds after we got in the car to drive home.
It is rough being a toddler. :)

Hello Fall

Fall seems to finally be creeping in! YAY! So welcome Fall I heart you. Please stay for awhile.

My sweet Lo Lo girl last fall.

And now 1 year later.
I am always intrigued by the difference a year makes in the life of a child.

"See guys, I did grow, some." ;)

Seriously?!! Where did my baby go?! She is completely gone! ::tear.::

Now for my fall decor. I wish I had more (just not in the budget to purchase everything Hobby Lob has), so I will just have to wait until the end of the season and get the clearance items! Now there is plenty of "tweaking" I would like to do, but I hope to add to it every year. I am just having a blast crafting and trying to decorate our home for fall and Halloween now that I have Lo. Decorating is NOT one of my gifts, so I love to "copy" people's ideas, why re-invent the wheel? So this is what I have thus, far...

Enjoy.

I made that pumpkin and I am so proud of myself. I love getting crafty!

The pumpkin is a "two for one." Once Halloween is over I will just turn it so our monogram is displayed. Clever, I know. ;)
Trying to make my own little votive/table decor...still deciding and I know I need some fall garland. That is next on my list.

Several years ago for my birthday my little sister Meg, made me a real pumpkin snowman (b/c I heart snowmen). Anyway it pained me to throw it away when it rotted. So the next year we made one out of craft pumpkins! It is my favorite thing I have for fall!

Well, Happy Fall Everyone!

The Lost Baby Files: Will it be a Boy or Girl!??!

Today is the day. I am so anxious to find out if we are having a BOY or GIRL!! The suspense is killing me. It is funny because this appointment has been scheduled secretly for weeks, although I told anyone who asked that I hadn't scheduled it yet and didn't mind waiting. {Sorry guys, but I am enjoying the secrets this time around. I find it quite amusing to keep, namely our families, in suspense.}

Anyway, truly I didn't mind the wait {I am one of those weirdos that wants to be the last to open her gifts, because once you know you can't go back to the imagining or thrill of the surprise} and by "lying" to everyone it kept my mind off it, that is until...today! Time is standing still.

With Lo I KNEW she was a girl for the second the stick showed a "+" sign. Then the day before her sono, I just got this overwhelming, indescribable feeling she was a girl. This time none of that. I am still going on the record with girl. However, last night a piece of me thought boy for sure. You should have seen Chad's face light up when I said that.

Guess we will find out soon. Very soon!!

~~~~~~~~~~

So we just got home. It's a BOY! We are so shocked. We both really thought girl, so it seems really weird to be having a boy. Although, it is nice to get one of each!

The only thing is now the sono tech called tonight to tell me, that I need to come back tomorrow to have a doc watch her do the sono because they didn't like one of the pictures she took and they want to watch it in real time. Awesome.
Why can't they just tell you what is going on?!?!

To be continued...

~~~~~~~~~~

So we went back for the sono this morning. They wanted to look at the brain and kidneys. We still don't know much. They think what they are seeing is a fluke-type thing. Nothing serious. Let's just pray it stays that way. However, we still haven't heard back from our real doctor on his thoughts, so now I wait for that.

This is just hard. If I may be honest, I have felt that something would go wrong with this pregnancy from the beginning. I prayed it wouldn't, but it was just a feeling I had. Everything seemed to be going well, until week 16. I alluded to in the 20 week post, that I was experiencing some problems. What I thought was round ligament pains were in fact contractions. I knew that, I just didn't want to believe it. I have also been having BH contractions like crazy since as well. Come to find out I have a bacterial infection that puts me at risk for pre-term labor, thus probably why I am already experiencing some contracting. There isn't anything to do, but treat the infection and be conscientious at this point. Fine. I can handle that.

Then we go for this 20 week sono and get this news. Why I still don't know if it is good or bad, it is just another check under the "what else can go wrong" category. So God is really not taking away my fear of something going wrong anytime soon. I do trust God and what He is doing in our lives. This is just another test of our faithfulness, no matter the outcome, I KNOW God is in control and I am at peace with that, but it doesn't mean I am not slightly frustrated that things are not going as smoothly as I had hoped.

My Momma Always Told Me...

...this is why you have kids.


So they can do the chores for you! ;) Lo is such a great little helper and neat freak. I love having a little helper.

She is so funny, I will see her take off for her potty chair (which doubles as a step stool), slam the lid shut and carry it over to me so she can help.

Here are some recent pics of all her helping.


I love her.

20 Weeks {aka Watch Mommy Grow}

It seems like everyone on pregnancy #2 does comparison shots between their pregnancies on these things, so I don't want to be left out and not part of the "cool gang." :) So here are mine:

Baby Q 19 weeks

Lo 19 weeks

How far along: 19w 5d
(I am doing this a bit early b/c I went to the doc early AND b/c I took a bump pic w/ Lo at week 19 and not 20, makes it easier for me to "compare." :) )

Total Wt Gain/Loss: +3 (total)

Maternity Clothes: Still not technically needed, but I like to wear them just to get the "goody" out of them.

Best Moment thus far: Baby Q is getting stronger and I can feel "her" more often. I am starting to get an idea of "her" schedule. And of course hearing the heart beat that never gets old.

Gender: currently unknown. I am still on the girl bandwagon. Any guesses out there? VOTE on my poll.

Movement: Like a rock star. I mean seriously. I am nearly sea sick by the end of the day with all the flips and twists s/he is making. I never felt Lo like this until around 21-23 weeks. I know they say the 2nd time around you notice sooner, but seriously, if Lo moved like this I would have noticed...right?!

Milestones: Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion and dead cells), which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, speaking of the diaper situation... baby's genitals are now fully formed!

~(courtesy of thebump.com)

Let's just hope Baby Q isn't a meconium baby like Lo was. I would like to hold you after you are born, rather than watching a team of neonates rush in to "catch" you!!! So don't be over zealous here! ;)

Food Cravings: I don't know if craving is the right word, but I sure can oink down my fair share of egg sandwiches! (made at home, not from nasty Micky D's). I am constantly craving Italian food and tomatoes! And I have to admit I really want candy all the time too. I just don't give into that one!

What I miss: My brain. It is official gone. Mommy brain + pregnancy brain is not a good combo! :)

Sleep: Sometimes yes, mostly no. I am hot, I can't get comfy, and I still have to tinkle all night.

What I am looking forward to: Getting the gender sono! Probably should get that scheduled, eh?! I want to know, but then it is sort of fun not knowing...but I won't make it all the way to 38-40 weeks not knowing.

Belly Button: In betweeny. This is weird to me with Lo my belly button didn't pop out until I was nearly done. But I am already noticing it starting to stick out. :/ weird.

What I learned at my pre-natal visit: The heart beat is 144bpm. And that you shouldn't chalk up aches and pains to just "normal" pregnancy stuff. I won't go into it here, but I went in a week early because I was experiencing some pain that I just didn't feel good about. I am glad I went and hopefully we can stay on top of it.

Symptoms: Weird dreams. HOT!!! Thank goodness for having winter babies, I can't imagine being this hot and it being during the heat of summer!! Round ligament pains. Another thing I never experienced with Lo. They feel more painful than labor pains or pretty close to it! Also braxton hick contractions nearly every.single.day. That didn't start until week 23 with Lo, so this bugs me. :/

Interesting things that happened/anecdotes: I am still loving Lo knowing she is going to be a big sister. She knows where the baby is and loves to give "her" 'moochies. So far nothing interesting is happening because most people don't even know I am pregnant, so I am not getting their "wisdom" imparted on me like some. :)

The Lost Baby Files

Some of you are confused. Anything titled ":The Lost Baby Files" means they are old posts. Journal entries I wrote, but never formerly posted to my blog until now. They are really for my memories and record since this is my family journal scrapbook, but if you find joy in reading them then by all means feel free to see all my random thoughts during those first 14 weeks before I officially announced my pregnancy.

And to all my followers, sorry again for blowing up your news feed with all these posts today.

The Lost Baby Files: 12 weeks

Original Date: August 9th, 2010 (12 weeks)

I had my 12 week checkup last Thurs.
• The heartbeat was 167bpm (again). Still feelin' girl.
• They took like 15 vials of blood from me. No joke.
• My due date was recorded as Feb 13, he didn't even "remember" the sono, which is fine by me, I wasn't about to "correct" him. Not like it matters that much anyway.
• I haven't felt any more kicks since I posted about it.
• I am showing big time, for me that is. I didn't show at all until I was like 20+ weeks with Lo, so this is hard to get on board with. But I suppose it is time to embrace it and flaunt it... :/
• Cravings are still the diet (coke zero) vanilla cokes, anything blueberry. new ones are chocolate soymilk and oatmeal.
• After Sunday everyone will finally know about this baby!! I am so ready to get this "secret" out in the open.
Well, that is all I can remember for now. Already into week 13, so hopefully I will do better next time.

12 weeks with Baby Q.

12 weeks with Lo

The Lost Baby Files: The Secret

Original Date: August 3rd, 2010 (12 weeks)

So it is no secret that I have been anxious about this pregnancy. Lots of thoughts racing through my mind. Will the baby be ok? Will I miscarry? How can I love another child? How is our family going to change? Can I really mother two?

I haven't "bonded" to this baby like I did with Lo. From the second I found out I was pregnant with her she was all I thought and dreamt about. Maybe it is because of all my "fears" and anxiety or maybe it is because I am so busy with Lo I just "forget" about being pregnant. Either way this pregnancy hasn't been "real" to me yet. That is until last night.

I realize that I am somewhere around the 12 week mark and that this is on the early side, but I know what I felt. Last night Chad and I were watching a movie and I was lying still on the couch and all of a sudden I felt this fluttering deep in my belly in one spot. I felt the fluttering off and on for about a minute. I looked at Chad and said "I think I just felt the baby 'kick!'"

It felt just like it did with Lo all those memories came flooding back. I was 16ish weeks pregnant with her when I was lying in bed and felt the same thing. The fluttering aren't something you feel all the time or when you are active. Only when you lie very still and quiet can I detect them.

It was an amazing moment. I will say there is nothing I find enjoyable about pregnancy. I dislike practically everything about it. I hate the fatigue, the nausea, the cramping, getting "fat", going into labor etc. but there is one redeeming quality that I love. That is the "secret connection." The connection only you as the mother have with your baby. The one no one can take from you. When you first feel those flutters and only you get to experience that marvel. Carrying a baby is like having a secret to me, you learn one another and fall in love before your eyes ever meet. And that is what I love about being pregnant.

So baby Q today you are very real to me and I am excited to finally meet you!
Love Mommy

The Lost Baby Files: Telling the Fam.

Original Date: July 26th, 2010 (11 weeks)

On Friday I received Lo's BIG SISTER shirt! It is adorable! I heart Etsy that is for sure. Anyway, we decided to put her in the shirt to go pick up "the boys" aka our dogs from my parents house, since they dogsat them while we were at the lake with friends.

I was so nervous and almost backed out several times. Mostly because I didn't know if I was ready to spread the word or not, but then I am tired of it being a secret too...I hate hormones! :) I don't know it is just weird telling people I think. It just seems like an unnatural topic of conversation. It never really comes up, so it is like BAM you just spring it on people.

Anyway, we get to my parents house and they didn't notice at first. Actually, I think my dad read it, but didn't get it or didn't want to say anything. Then my little sis read it and said "MOM!, read her shirt!" Then they all proceeded to tell me "they KNEW it." Oh, they think they are so clever and wity.

Today, I emailed my sister a picture/digital scrapbook page of Lo in her BIG SISTER shirt (b/c she lives so far away). I am torn on this decision because I wanted to call and tell her, but like I said before that seems "stupid" like "oh, by the way I am pregnant...so how is life?" Anyway, I hope that was the right choice. I am going to call her tonight after she checks her email. Ugggh! I hate these decisions.


Rachel read the shirt immediately when she came in and was shocked and excited. She just couldn't believe it!

Bill read the shirt right away, but then didn't "get it." Chad had to ask him to read it again and think about what it might mean. Then he got it and was happy for us. He said "I was thinking it was about time just the other day." HA! He cracks me up!

With the second baby it isn't nearly as exciting when everyone is expecting it anytime because your first is 1.5 years, but it was still fun telling everyone.

Up next, telling close friends and then the "world." But I think I will wait until after our next baby appointment just to be sure everything is still going strong!

The Lost Baby Files: First Sono!

Original Date: July 8th, 2010 (8ish weeks)

Yesterday I had my first sono. My doctor ordered it so we could 1. figured out how far along I am and 2. get a head count.

Really, this past week and a half I stopped stressing over the twin thing. Not sure why, just finally put it out of my mind. Oddly enough, I wasn't all that stoked about the sono, just felt routine. Anyway, we had the worse sono tech ever. She just wasn't talkative and didn't explain anything. When we first got in there she said my bladder wasn't full enough and that we would have to wait 10 minutes. She acted annoyed at me when I told her I only drank 24oz of H20. I then proceeded to tell her how last time I nearly busted a kidney drinking all that water (ie 32oz) last time! How I had to stop and pee 4x before I even arrived at the sono place and then they made me empty 2 cups because I was "too full." Seriously, can't win for losing. Oh well, on to this sono.

Anyway, once I was finally "full" enough we began the sono. I just kept waiting and waiting for her to get to the "good" part. After her initial scan I was freaking out a bit b/c I could see two openings (ie twins), but she didn't say anything and they looked empty, and I don't know what I am looking at or for. Finally, she said it is just ONE baby!!!! I just high fived my hubby and said "thank God!" At this point I could finally relax.


The baby was blobish and blurry as expected. I compared pics when we got home of Lo and this baby. They were taken apparently at the same gestation, but I remember Lo moving more and her picture is a bit "clearer" and less blobish.

Baby Q's 8ish week sono.

Leighton's 8ish week sono.

We also got to hear their heartbeat (167bpm) which is always the best part. Sadly, I don't think I ever really wrote Lo's down. :( But she was always super duper high like 170's or more.

Then she started taking a bunch of measurements to determine gestation. The numbers on the screen ranged from 7w3d to 8w 4d. I mean seriously, we already guessed that much. I was hoping for a little bit closer prediction then averaging the two dates we already had (Feb 13th and Feb 18th) my current EDD is Feb 16th. So basically we still don't know exactly how far along I am, but who cares the baby is doing fine so far!

Oh, and did I mention Lo was there the whole time. She was so good, didn't seem too interested. I kept asking her if it looked "familiar" and if she cleaned up after herself before she left. HA! She was sweet and held my hand the whole time. I just love that girl.

Well, that pretty much wraps up my first sono. We still aren't telling people yet. Which sometimes proves to be difficult mostly because I don't like lying, but we want to wait longer this time...for fun. Although, I am starting to worry I won't make it another month...seems like I am showing WAY sooner this time. With Lo I was darn near 18/20 weeks before the bump emerged...heavy sigh. Guess we will see!

The Lost Baby Files: First Doctor Visit

Original Date: June 23, 2010

Today I had my first doctor visit. It was with my PCP. He is the one that rx the clomid, so I definitely wanted him to be the one to confirm my pregnancy, even though 4 HPTs don't lie. :)
(on a side note: yesterday evening I took my last HPT from the dollar tree, because, why not? and the test line turn bright pink before it even reached the control line. So I guess they do work. Perhaps, I didn't do it right the first TWO times or was a bit on the early side, which I find hard to believe considering the more expensive test, requiring higher hcg levels turned positive within mili-seconds. So take from that what you will.)

Anyway, after waiting for an eternity at the dr. office for this appointment, which I knew wouldn't be anything fun or spectacular, I finally saw the doc. They were all excited that the clomid worked first round! They haven't given anyone clomid in a long time he said. This made me feel good, just that they take such an interest in you. That is just so important in a doctor. We talked about possible due dates based on my fertility charts. My EDD is Feb 13th based on my LMP of May 9th, BUT according to the fertility chart I ovulated late, so based on that my EDD is Feb 18th.

Thankfully, because we don't know how far along I am AND because I was on fertility treatments I will be getting that coveted early sono in TWO weeks!!! He said he wanted to do it now, but because he isn't sure whether I am 5 or 6 weeks it is "safer" to wait, and know what we are seeing, rather than freaking out because it is too early and we can't see what we want to see. Heavy sigh, but I can do it. I am really busy these next two weeks so it should fly by, I hope. Mostly, I am just dying to know whether it is twins or not. Still praying for a singleton. Also, we will not be telling the fam until we for sure see a heartbeat and know what is going on...so guess we are back to the two week wait. :)

Slowly, but surely it is becoming more real to me. I still don't feel pregnant so I "forget" a lot that I am. I am sure once I see that beating heart or hearts it will all become real!!

The Lost Baby Files: Finding Out

Original Date: June 11th, 2010 (4 weeks)

God is Good

It is funny the other day I was thinking about the verse Eph. 3:20-21 about how God will do far more than you ever DARE to dream or HOPE for and once again HE has answered.
I can't believe I am about to write this, but we are pregnant! Pregnant! I was for sure Lo would never get to be a big sister, while I had hoped, I just wasn't sure it was going to happen. Mostly, I didn't want to get my hopes up too high.

The crazy thing is the only reason I took a HPT was because I just started clomid this cycle. I had to take one to make sure I was NOT pregnant, so I could go back to the doc and get more. I had no symptoms that stood out to me to make me think it worked this month. However, when I took (a cheapy dollar tree test) the line was so very very faint, I felt like I was seeing things or making it up. I decided I better wait 3 more days and re-test and if I am pregnant the line would be clearer for sure. This morning I took the test and the line was still barely visible, I know a line is a line, but it doesn't instill a ton of confidence especially when you are dealing with a cheap $1 test. (BTW people assured me these were quite accurate and since I was planning on doing this for awhile I didn't want to have to take out a small loan to pay for EPTs, when these should have sufficed).

So even though I had already tested I just couldn't get it out of my mind. I wanted a CLEAR answer. Luckily, I had one name brand test left over from previous months, when I took it it turned positive within seconds! I was in fact pregnant.

I am in shock that we got pregnant on the first cycle of clomid. I just can't bring myself to believe it yet. Not until I see/hear a heartbeat and a little baby. Especially because I just don't feel pregnant. With Lo I KNEW I was pregnant before I took the test, or was going to be very shocked if it was negative.

The bottom two are the cheapies...the 2nd line is there but you have squint just right.

Anyway, I had all these great ideas to tell the hubs I was pregnant. But I just had to spill the beans right away. Why can't I hold out. I can keep no secret from this man. He is my best friend.

*I was going to take a pic of the tests and have him upload the pics and see it.
* I was going to buy the book "God gave us Two" and have Lo pick it out for him to read to her.
*I was going to put Lo in a Big Sis shirt and have her give him the test

So many ideas and I Failed! Oh well, when I brought out the tests to him he was liked "what do these say? Are you pregnant?" Poor guy he was just as shocked as me! But we both are pretty excited too!

Praying for a full term healthy baby! We both feel pretty confident it is another girl...only time will tell. Just as long as it is ONE baby and not TWO! :)


PS baby #2 is due on Lo's SECOND birthday! She is 15 months now, and it took us 15 months to get pregnant with her...(not that we were trying since she was born, are you crazy!!!) just noting all the coincidences. So I guess this our "time" to get pregnant. Sort of glad maternity clothes wise it is the same! HA! You know lots of people want their babies two years apart, and we hit it right on the money! God has an amazing sense of humor...just praying he keeps it in check and doesn't give us twins. :)

The Blessing Box

God has been working in my life big time.

ONE.

Some of you may know that we were hoping to move to "Mayberry." Where my hubs works and we always seem to play. Everything seemed to be God ordained in my mind. Then the door slammed shut. I was so heart broken and down. Not because of the house or the move, but because I felt that the move would get me more involved in "life." I feel so isolated here. I feel like I have nothing to do, but sit at home. I just couldn't understand why God shut this door.

However, moments after the door shut, God began working. We were invited over by some of our friends for dinner and our girls to play. I finally broke down and realized I could join the Y in "Mayberry" and that it truly wasn't that far to drive. Another friend invited me to MOPS out of the blue and I have had several play dates since. I feel blessed. It was me hindering God working in my life. Buying a house in "Mayberry" wasn't going to fix anything. While we still hope to move there one day today wasn't that day and that is ok.

TWO.

I love when God shows you something and He continues to point it out until you "get it" and/or just keep it in the fore front of your mind. The other day I just really felt like I needed to work on my kindness to my family. I lose my patience so easily and I don't want that to become a continued pattern.
Then the very next day I went to the Beth Moore Simulcast and guess what she spoke on?
KINDNESS! Seriously, get out. Then Sunday (the very next day) our pastor is leading a marriage series. The topic was on fighting and responding in kindness to one another.

Ok I get it be kind! :)

Thanks for joining in my super long winded Blessings today. May you have a blessed day!

Miscellany Monday

Well, Monday has struck once again, and so have my random thoughts. It is nice to a "reason" to just say all the things that flit through my mind over the week. ;)

1. I know everyone is so excited about Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte or whatever, honestly I can't knock because I haven't tried it. But why is no one excited that Cranberry Sierra Mist is back!?!?! That is the best stuff. Hope Dillons is stocked up because here I come.


2. Speaking of coffee, we were weren't we? While I haven't had the Starbucks version of Pumpkin Spice Latte, I have had the Quick Trip version, and oh.my.word. delish! My new craving. That is like hot pumpkin pie right in your mouth. Which oddly enough I don't care for the actually pie, but put it in ice cream or liquid form and I am sold!! Plus, it is only $1.16 that has to way cheaper than Starbucks!


3. I am putting up a boy or girl poll on the side of my blog. Hopefully, I do it right since I am not tech savvy. So vote for which you think we are having! I would love to hear your guesses! Although, I have no idea when we are finding out because I am sort of putting it off. It is fun leaving everyone in suspense.


4. Now that we are talking about the baby...I am going to start posting THE LOST BABY FILES. So I apologize to my followers if I blow up your feeds with "old" posts. They are the journal entries never posted about Baby Q before I let the cat out of the bag! Read them or not, I just want them here for my memories.

5. On a different note it is getting "cooler." Which means spiders. Spiders want to come into MY house for the winter uninvited. Ummm, no thanks. It doesn't help that Chad cleaned out our window wells and stirred up their nest(s). So thankfully, the bug man is coming TODAY to un-invite them for winter. Check out this beauty that I found in my garage.


I couldn't kill it because it was to big and didn't want to take him/her on. So in honor of my friend who kills not animal/bug or pest, I swept that monster out of my garage with my broom like a freak. All the while a police cruiser drives down my street watching me jumping around and screaming at that blasted thing!

6. Finally it is practically fall and time to decorate. I usually don't get into that, but now that Lo is older I find myself wanting to decorate for Halloween and Fall! I have lots of good ideas, hopefully, I can show you soon!

OK well Happy Monday everyone! May your Monday be as random as mine!!